The Band Bus

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How to Die in a School Classroom

The string of perkiness continues in World History with Mr. Arend. Last class, we discussed Bangladesh and how New Orleans is nothing compared to what they go through EVERY YEAR! Every 4 seconds, a child is born there. Every 7 seconds, a person dies there. This is too much of a population increase for a country that can't even feed the people it has now. And the worst part of that country is that the people can't go anywhere. To the north lies the foreboding Himalayas, to the south lies the Indian Ocean, and to the east and west is India, who'd rather kill them.
Today was a bit better. We talked about how, if a major earthquake happened (7.5 or higher), 30-40% of RPHS's population would die. If the possible death of about 560 of my friends and peers is BETTER and HAPPIER than the daily life in Bangladesh you know they're living in nothing short of hell. Also, were a major earthquake to happen, we discussed what would we would do and what the school would do. The hall outside our classroom could fall out (it's a long way to the ground), the walls would collapse in, the pipes that run throughout our room are filled with BOILING WATER which would no doubt break, and the people in our classroom that are certified for First Aid are the people that I would, under no circumstance, trust. To put the crowning piece on this senario, the desks we sit at aren't large enough for us to fit our whole body under so we either save out heads or save out butts. Either way, it's a loss.
Despite all of this, the mood remained fairly light. All one would have to do to put a smile back on their face is to glance over at Spencer, who was adorned in full pirate garb coutesy of Value Village. Is it wrong to think that when he has a plastic hook and a stuffed parrot that he's the sexiest he's ever been?

3 Responses to “How to Die in a School Classroom”

  1. # Blogger SafeTinspector

    I know not of pirate Spencer.

    In an emergency:Pick a nearby classmate you hate. Knock him unconcsious with your largest text book. Scoot his now unnecessary desk to your location and combine its ass/head sheltering capability with the matching head/ass sheltering capability of your original desk.
    You are now protected.  

  2. # Blogger Elentine

    Wow, SafeT. You're brilliant!  

  3. # Blogger Aubrey

    lol Pirate Spencer, Good ol' Spencer, he did look pretty sexy as a pirate, I almost wish I hadn't broken up with him.  

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