The Band Bus

So, I'll begin by asking this: why do flammable and inflamable mean the same thing? They should be opposites, complete and total opposites, but no.... If paper is flamable, a rock should be INflamable. Now, what's the opposite of "flamable"? For the love of god, don't let it be "unflamable". That would be just too bloody confusing. "Antiflamable", maybe? "Aflamable"? "Does not catch on fire"? Whatever. My point is, I'm all for having alternate words for things, but do us a favor and at least make the words reasonably different from eachother!

Now, what I should be doing right now is reading Last of the Mohicans, of which I'm only through roughly half of the 370-some pages, but instead I choose to post about things that make me happy! Kittens, for example, but not just any kittens. If I am to "l-o-l" at a kitten, it is required to have a caption that's adorably appropriate and in a scarcely discernable form of English. Another is fanfiction. Specifically, bad fanfiction. I mean, things bad for even fanfiction standards (and that's pretty damn bad). Anakin flying to Antarctica and slaughtering all the porr penguins and liberating them of their wee "happy feet" is a shining example.

I suppose it's required once I find something new I love, to look at the various ways the TV show/movie/cartoon has been torn limb from helpless limb and raped (in that order) by prepubescent fangirls. Over the past two months, Transformers has really, really grown on me, so I just couldn't resist a little look-see at what the fanfic world had to offer. Though I only took the time to read one (and why I chose that particular one I really, really do not know), but the listing of pairings was enough to send me simulaneously into fits of laughter and horrible stomach pains. Maybe it's my fault for plunging head-first into those that were rated "Mature" (there's really no fun otherwise), but for teh love of God, how does a robot that transforms into a cop car rape a human?

First thought, for some reason, was "Why?!?" Whether I was refering to the robot's actions or the author's decision to write it in the first place, I'm not sure. One pairing that's exceedingly (and frighteningly) common is Sam and Bumblebee. For those unaquainted or for my Alzheimers-stricken future self, Sam is teenage, human boy, whereas Bumblebee is a giant robot that transforms into a sporty little Camero. The more I thought about it (and I'm slightly ashamed about how long I thought about), the more it felt like "the coconut and the swallow" bit from Monty Python. Seriously, how the bloody hell does that work? Could he maybe... no, that wouldn't work. Well, I suppose it could, if he stuck it in his backside. Huh... and that was about the point where I gave up and just read a fanfic. Turns out the hologram they can project in the drivers seat can not only become solid, but function as a normal human being for the robot, sexual desires and all! Who knew? Discover is such a lovely thing. I have yet to find out how robot/robot sex works, but heaven help me, I'll find out soon enough!