Just Try and Get it Out of Your Head
2 Comments Published by Elentine on Tuesday, July 31, 2007 at 3:53 PM.
Dude, ok, I've been known to make some pretty bizarre playlists, but the best ones are the ones that just kinda happen. Specifically, the Recently Added. Currently on mine, the songs range from Pokemon Christmas Medley, the audio version of all the HP7 spoilers, Green Day's cover of Lennon's Working Class Hero, various Harry Potter songs, and song from the Optimus vs. Megatron scene in the 1986 Transformers movie, The Touch. Not rightly sure why I said that, but... ch-ch-chawklit reign!
I have become a /b/tard. That's how I came upon the leaked copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It's the cancer that's destroying my innocence. For those unaware, 4chan is an image forum, and /b/ is its random board, where there are no rules. /b/ is like your best friend, your worst enemy, and the guy that molested you when you were ten all rolled into one. If it was big on the internets, it, in all likelihood, started on /b/. There are no taboos, no line it will not cross. This said line does not even exist. One rule does exist: Tits or GTFO! On /b/, sure your girlfriend may be dead, but did she really have to mess up the grass?
This place destroys souls. Cruelly and unforgivingly, it will rip out your innocence, shove it up Luna Lovegood's pooper, and make you eat it. I can say I've only had one X-rated dream in my entire life prior to this summer, but since I discovered 4chan, I've had several, and each one as nightmarish as the next. I've started to become turned on by the most random, disturbing things, like this!! :
Why? WHY??? As if I didn't have enough troubles as a teenager, now I have to try and explain this to myself! God damn /b/!
There's no surprise left when it comes to the human body. I'm not just talking about stuff below the belt either. I'm talking about innerds and guts and stuff. It's the single most vile, disgusting place on the internet, but I still love it oh so very, very much.
This place destroys souls. Cruelly and unforgivingly, it will rip out your innocence, shove it up Luna Lovegood's pooper, and make you eat it. I can say I've only had one X-rated dream in my entire life prior to this summer, but since I discovered 4chan, I've had several, and each one as nightmarish as the next. I've started to become turned on by the most random, disturbing things, like this!! :
Why? WHY??? As if I didn't have enough troubles as a teenager, now I have to try and explain this to myself! God damn /b/!
There's no surprise left when it comes to the human body. I'm not just talking about stuff below the belt either. I'm talking about innerds and guts and stuff. It's the single most vile, disgusting place on the internet, but I still love it oh so very, very much.
So... when's that Harry Potter 8 coming out?
5 Comments Published by Elentine on Sunday, July 22, 2007 at 12:55 AM.
I'm dead. It's dead. At 12:20 a.m. on July 22nd, I ended, for my part, the journey I set out upon so many years ago. No HP 8 to hop around joyously over. It's done. Finished. Gone down the curtain and joined the Chior Invisible. At least J.K. threw in my favorite two characters there at the end. That made me happy. But, all in all, I'm totally and completely dead, emotionally speaking. No more epicness. Fwoo, though, that book was one wild ride. I'll say no more on the subject (I think I've done enough damage already) except to say that that was one freaking good book. Especially last hundred pages or so... er, ahem, shutting up now. I need to find some nice, quite place to mourn, and then, in all likelihood, write fanfiction.
I've seen something... something I shouldn't have seen until the 21st... Dude, if it's real (and it for sure looks like it) then holy crap...
What began yesterday as a mere rustling of the feathers has exploded into a full out emu pimp riot. It is believed to have been caused by unfair representation in the Semi Pimp Tour, a multi-country festival showcasing all things new and exciting in the world of trans-species pleasure and entertainment.
Though many have not heard of it, the Semi Pimp Tour has been considered by many to be the most influential and eye opening event of all time. Held only once every ten years, this Tour is the most premier of its kind and has even greatly assisted in the creation of such organizations as PETA, the NRA, and NAMBLA. The tour, never one to shy away from the tough issues, intends to largely focus this year on the growing concern of bird trafficing, which has recently been hit on several fronts.
Perhaps one of the most public, having even garnered the attention of the Pope himself, is, of course, the growing trend of underage bird erotica. "This is, without question, the most heinous offence against our Lord man has ever devised. It's hardly even physically possible, for one thing, having sexual orientations with a baby bird. Jesus Christ, just think of the size ratio! That should set off a red flag right there! Of course, if it were the infant of a very large bird, like an emu or an ostrich or a pterodactyl or something..." Pope Benedict spoke before thousands of worshippers in Vatican City during Eastern Mass this year.
Though no pterodactyl children have yet been found Rule 34'd, the other two mentioned, emus and ostriches, are the most common in instances of this crime. Emus have taken the greatest hit, however. When asked why, one prominent propieter of an emu harem replied, "It's racism is what it is! It's only 'cause they haven't got as interesting of plumage as there fancy-pants cousins! Let's see who we'd be blamin' if the plumage was flipped, eh! Let's see who then!"
Another global issue that has affected the selling of pleasures has been the ever present terror of bird flu. Because those who seek trans-species entertainment still wish to seek their enjoyments, the government acknowledged that the avian brothels could not be shut down. So, to protect both the birds and the customers, President Bush issued discounted bird flu vacinations to all brothels, or nests.
The proprieters of these nests, however, still had to pay, and many were forced to pass it on to the consumer. The price for tailfeather skyrocketed, leaving many regular patrons angry and unable to pay. Those who seek emus had it even worse, as they required extra doses because of their size as well as blood type. On July 6, the disgruntled many, nearlly 10,000 strong, gathered together at the Washington Monument, brandishing rubber chickens and chanting, "Free bird! Free bird!"
The Semi Pimp Tour originally planned to headline emus, as they have been the fastest growing form of interspecies erotica over the past decade. Due to religious pressure, as well as pressure from the health community, the Tour elected to pull the appearance of the emus, and instead bring in prominent officials to speak about the issue. Of the 34 separate emu pimps originally scheduled to display their wares, only three remain in the roster of those to appear. This information was released yesterday and that was what sparked the riot.
The 31 infuriated pimps assembled first, and called up others who sympathised with their cause. Without time for hesitation, the emu pimps, their birds, and the assorted tucan, camel, and badger proprieters that identified with them marched on Washington, several hundred altogether. The peaceful protest was short lived, however, when an emu broke loose and ran off, nearly trampling an officer. The policemen took it as an attack and opened fire, causing the formerly peaceful emu pimps to return fire. Most of the emus broke loose in the attack, overrunning both pimps and police. The gunfire lasted for nearly twenty minutes, the pimps taking shelter beind the bodies of their former hoes and the police in their cars and surrounding buildings.
Though the official report has yet to give us an exact body count, initial reports mark the death toll at the tens of millions, making it the bloodiest day in the history of the world.
Though many have not heard of it, the Semi Pimp Tour has been considered by many to be the most influential and eye opening event of all time. Held only once every ten years, this Tour is the most premier of its kind and has even greatly assisted in the creation of such organizations as PETA, the NRA, and NAMBLA. The tour, never one to shy away from the tough issues, intends to largely focus this year on the growing concern of bird trafficing, which has recently been hit on several fronts.
Perhaps one of the most public, having even garnered the attention of the Pope himself, is, of course, the growing trend of underage bird erotica. "This is, without question, the most heinous offence against our Lord man has ever devised. It's hardly even physically possible, for one thing, having sexual orientations with a baby bird. Jesus Christ, just think of the size ratio! That should set off a red flag right there! Of course, if it were the infant of a very large bird, like an emu or an ostrich or a pterodactyl or something..." Pope Benedict spoke before thousands of worshippers in Vatican City during Eastern Mass this year.
Though no pterodactyl children have yet been found Rule 34'd, the other two mentioned, emus and ostriches, are the most common in instances of this crime. Emus have taken the greatest hit, however. When asked why, one prominent propieter of an emu harem replied, "It's racism is what it is! It's only 'cause they haven't got as interesting of plumage as there fancy-pants cousins! Let's see who we'd be blamin' if the plumage was flipped, eh! Let's see who then!"
Another global issue that has affected the selling of pleasures has been the ever present terror of bird flu. Because those who seek trans-species entertainment still wish to seek their enjoyments, the government acknowledged that the avian brothels could not be shut down. So, to protect both the birds and the customers, President Bush issued discounted bird flu vacinations to all brothels, or nests.
The proprieters of these nests, however, still had to pay, and many were forced to pass it on to the consumer. The price for tailfeather skyrocketed, leaving many regular patrons angry and unable to pay. Those who seek emus had it even worse, as they required extra doses because of their size as well as blood type. On July 6, the disgruntled many, nearlly 10,000 strong, gathered together at the Washington Monument, brandishing rubber chickens and chanting, "Free bird! Free bird!"
The Semi Pimp Tour originally planned to headline emus, as they have been the fastest growing form of interspecies erotica over the past decade. Due to religious pressure, as well as pressure from the health community, the Tour elected to pull the appearance of the emus, and instead bring in prominent officials to speak about the issue. Of the 34 separate emu pimps originally scheduled to display their wares, only three remain in the roster of those to appear. This information was released yesterday and that was what sparked the riot.
The 31 infuriated pimps assembled first, and called up others who sympathised with their cause. Without time for hesitation, the emu pimps, their birds, and the assorted tucan, camel, and badger proprieters that identified with them marched on Washington, several hundred altogether. The peaceful protest was short lived, however, when an emu broke loose and ran off, nearly trampling an officer. The policemen took it as an attack and opened fire, causing the formerly peaceful emu pimps to return fire. Most of the emus broke loose in the attack, overrunning both pimps and police. The gunfire lasted for nearly twenty minutes, the pimps taking shelter beind the bodies of their former hoes and the police in their cars and surrounding buildings.
Though the official report has yet to give us an exact body count, initial reports mark the death toll at the tens of millions, making it the bloodiest day in the history of the world.
Given the frequency of the posts after my return, one may think I'd have been kidnapped en route. I reckon the problem is I've been meaning to say so many things that they all just filled something of a blockage. Now, I'm not entirely sure if I should go for the big picture, or the meaningless little things. The latter is infinitely easier to write about, and requires no invested thought, yet the only pleasure comes from the former, naturally. Well, let's dispose of the garbage first, and then move on to the vague thoughts that trick me into feeling, well, thoughtful.
Deadwood's amazing. Seriously, you need to watch this show. It's a western the way westerns should be. That is, crude, raw, and filled with whores. If you like... well, I'm not entirely sure what to compare it to, seeing as it's never really had any other show to come close to it as far as style goes. I'll just say that if you like damn good television, you'll like it. Oh, and it's probably best if you aren't really bothered by the phrase "fuckin' cocksucker," but even if you are, you'll get over it right fast.
Next bit of trash (although I deeply regret calling it that) is that I'm flat out addicted to Queen. Seriously, it's bad. Really bad. I... I can't listen to anything else, because nothing even comes close to Freddie's vocals and the unbelievably epic style of Queen. All I can do now is sit and wait for it to phase out like every other thing that takes my fancy, but part of me hopes to God it never does.
Last bit of trash here. I appear to have taken ill. A cold in July. How's that for bizarre. Anyways, I feel rather like crap, and no thanks to all the social calls. Two days, two days since we got back (including the day we arrived). That's how many days I've had to myself. I reckon that ain't helping much.
Alright, now all that being said, I can move on to the fun bits. And naturally, they all escape me at the moment... ah, fuck it, not again.
I suppose one may be curious as to the outcome of the trip. It doesn't feel right to be home. A day for both Canyonlands and Arches? What a load of crap that is. During this trip I saw sequoias, waterfalls, plains, deserts and valleys. I've seen sunsets on the Pacific and sunrises on the canyons. I've come across the greatest beauties nature has to offer. So then, I suppose you can figure how coming home isn't an entirely pleasurable experience. Routine and good company are enjoyable enough, but there's nothing sweeter than adventure.
Timing has never been a strong suit of mine, either. I was so eager to be a 6th Grader and be "top dog", yet alas, I took sick, in my own fashion, and missed out on nearly all of it. I planned this trip with idolizing eyes. Every day I lived, I lived for the day I'd see those canyons again, yet a month before we departed, apathy, like a plague, began to creep over me. This trip could have been so much sweeter, had it occured six months earlier. Most pressing, though, is the fact that, at the moment, I couldn't give a rats ass about Harry Potter. Whether he lives or dies is no longer of concern to me at the moment. I'm afraid my timing is just flat out rubbish, but I will say that it is nice to be back and relieved of the close quarters with my parents. Here's a picture that serves as a proper finishing to all things that need finishing.
Deadwood's amazing. Seriously, you need to watch this show. It's a western the way westerns should be. That is, crude, raw, and filled with whores. If you like... well, I'm not entirely sure what to compare it to, seeing as it's never really had any other show to come close to it as far as style goes. I'll just say that if you like damn good television, you'll like it. Oh, and it's probably best if you aren't really bothered by the phrase "fuckin' cocksucker," but even if you are, you'll get over it right fast.
Next bit of trash (although I deeply regret calling it that) is that I'm flat out addicted to Queen. Seriously, it's bad. Really bad. I... I can't listen to anything else, because nothing even comes close to Freddie's vocals and the unbelievably epic style of Queen. All I can do now is sit and wait for it to phase out like every other thing that takes my fancy, but part of me hopes to God it never does.
Last bit of trash here. I appear to have taken ill. A cold in July. How's that for bizarre. Anyways, I feel rather like crap, and no thanks to all the social calls. Two days, two days since we got back (including the day we arrived). That's how many days I've had to myself. I reckon that ain't helping much.
Alright, now all that being said, I can move on to the fun bits. And naturally, they all escape me at the moment... ah, fuck it, not again.
I suppose one may be curious as to the outcome of the trip. It doesn't feel right to be home. A day for both Canyonlands and Arches? What a load of crap that is. During this trip I saw sequoias, waterfalls, plains, deserts and valleys. I've seen sunsets on the Pacific and sunrises on the canyons. I've come across the greatest beauties nature has to offer. So then, I suppose you can figure how coming home isn't an entirely pleasurable experience. Routine and good company are enjoyable enough, but there's nothing sweeter than adventure.
"Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living." - Miriam Beard
Timing has never been a strong suit of mine, either. I was so eager to be a 6th Grader and be "top dog", yet alas, I took sick, in my own fashion, and missed out on nearly all of it. I planned this trip with idolizing eyes. Every day I lived, I lived for the day I'd see those canyons again, yet a month before we departed, apathy, like a plague, began to creep over me. This trip could have been so much sweeter, had it occured six months earlier. Most pressing, though, is the fact that, at the moment, I couldn't give a rats ass about Harry Potter. Whether he lives or dies is no longer of concern to me at the moment. I'm afraid my timing is just flat out rubbish, but I will say that it is nice to be back and relieved of the close quarters with my parents. Here's a picture that serves as a proper finishing to all things that need finishing.
