The Band Bus

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Acceptance

It's been 2 years now since I first got sick but it seems the wounds are still there, open and raw and fresh. Could it be that my depression never really left? I try and block the darkest moments of my life out but they always seem to resurface with the same pain they had when I first received them. It's been said that time heals all wounds, but whoever said that clearly had no knowledge on the subject. Some hurts just go too deep. In sixth grade, I lost more then just a bone and some hair. I lost the old me. The Me that was happy, carefree, and full of life. Occationally, I receive glimpses of the happy past but they are now foreign to me. How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on when, in your heart, you know there is no going back? I look at my friends, at my peers, but the warmth and connection I had with them has vanished, and now a wall divides us. They can't share my pain because they have never felt it. Two broken rocks can lean on eachother and make eachother whole, but a single rock will just keep falling. Lately, much of the pain I've felt is felt by my friends, and by talking to them it gets taken away. But who do I talk to for this? I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I'm embarassed that I'm separated like this. So, the hardest part's over; I've finally admitted it. Now what?

4 Responses to “Acceptance”

  1. # Blogger Aubrey

    God damn this computer, I'm going to have to use your blog to try and sign in, sorry for the random post.  

  2. # Blogger Elentine

    *Confuzed* okie dokie...  

  3. # Blogger SafeTinspector

    What happened? Bone, hair?

    At first I thought you were talking about the myriad little betrayals and embarassments our stupid heads drag out to show us once in awhile, but now I don't know...  

  4. # Blogger Elentine

    Ya, that's my little way of stating the issue without actually stating the issue. Back in 6th grade, I got cancer. I don't like to talk about it because it sounds too pathetic. Often, I notice people treat me different when they find out, so, if I have to talk about it, I try not to actually say the truth, but some things have got to be said, I guess.  

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