Lately, I've been taking a lot of quizzes. I don't know why. Maybe it's cuz they're fun or I have some personal insecurities or it's a nice quite thing to do while listening to my Princess Mononoke soundtrack. Whatever the reason, I've found that a common question is "What do you think of life?" Everytime I see it, I never know what to answer. It's not wholy evil and it's never entirely good. Why do people ask the question and expect an honest answer? Don't we only really know the answer to it once we're good and dead. For Christ sake, I'm 14. Everytime, I try and pick the most neutral answer like "It is what it is."
Another common question is "What do you think of Love?" I'm sure the quiz makers don't know this but I've never been in love. On this question, instead of going neutral, I pick the most depressing answer such as "It's a stabbing pain that we must endure," because, for me, it is. Never being loved is as painful as losing love. I've had my crushes but I never tell the guy. Because of that, I will always feel the regret of what could have been. Even if it was only for a day, even if they said no, the fixation on that one person would end and I could go back to being whole. But I have a deep fear of rejection and have kept all these feelings bottled up inside. I don't think I'll ever tell them because it's nice having a secret that I'm not ashamed of.
Why am I even writing all of this? I dunno, maybe I'm hoping to release some of the burden but I'm sitting here and I still feel the weight. Oh well, perhaps we're all meant to have some baggage. Maybe that's what keeps us grounded. So, going back to the first question, "What do you think of life?", I guess my answer is, "We'll see."
Another common question is "What do you think of Love?" I'm sure the quiz makers don't know this but I've never been in love. On this question, instead of going neutral, I pick the most depressing answer such as "It's a stabbing pain that we must endure," because, for me, it is. Never being loved is as painful as losing love. I've had my crushes but I never tell the guy. Because of that, I will always feel the regret of what could have been. Even if it was only for a day, even if they said no, the fixation on that one person would end and I could go back to being whole. But I have a deep fear of rejection and have kept all these feelings bottled up inside. I don't think I'll ever tell them because it's nice having a secret that I'm not ashamed of.
Why am I even writing all of this? I dunno, maybe I'm hoping to release some of the burden but I'm sitting here and I still feel the weight. Oh well, perhaps we're all meant to have some baggage. Maybe that's what keeps us grounded. So, going back to the first question, "What do you think of life?", I guess my answer is, "We'll see."
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