Woah, last post on September 1st. Sorry about that. Of course, I suppose there's really not much to say. That's a good thing, though. When I don't have anything to say, I'm happy, or at least content. So... yay!
This year... oh boy, this year's going to be... fun. The thing is, though, that despite having three college-level classes, and really only one "slacker" class (which isn't really even a slacker class, for me at least), I feel really good about everything, and I'm pretty sure (and this may sound rediculous) that it's because I finally don't have a PE class. To be quite honest, I've always harbored a good deal of fear towards doing physical things in front of others. I'm an intellectual sort. Running and throwing things isn't my forte. I'm the one chosen last, I'm the one with the greatest lap time. Anyway, those days are dead and gone, thankfully, and now I can flex my mind muscles. And for that, I'm happy this year.
Also, I've been going to therapy. The location is our rooftop, the therapist is a soothing playlist, and the inkblot pictures are the stars and the traffic lights, but it's therapy nevertheless. It gives me a chance to just realign myself, relax, and think. I like thinking. It never makes me happy, but it's fulfilling. The time I spend on the roof is perfect, but above all I wish I wasn't alone up there. Just someone to sit with, maybe to say something occationally, but just someone to share the moment with, silently, independently, but together.
That then ties into the unhappiness that caused me to write the post (because I don't write happy). God damnit, I need a boyfriend. I need to find somebody to love (there, the quote's been said, and it shall not be said again). Here I am, 16, and I've never been kissed, never even been on a date. Can you relate to this? No, no you cannot. And then there are those that have had the good fortune of a close companion, but are always complaining. Count your blessings, why don't you, and just be thankful you're not me! It's nice, sometimes, being the last sane one, but the price paid for being so is growing ever more steep. I can't wait to get the hell out of here and meet some new people.
This year... oh boy, this year's going to be... fun. The thing is, though, that despite having three college-level classes, and really only one "slacker" class (which isn't really even a slacker class, for me at least), I feel really good about everything, and I'm pretty sure (and this may sound rediculous) that it's because I finally don't have a PE class. To be quite honest, I've always harbored a good deal of fear towards doing physical things in front of others. I'm an intellectual sort. Running and throwing things isn't my forte. I'm the one chosen last, I'm the one with the greatest lap time. Anyway, those days are dead and gone, thankfully, and now I can flex my mind muscles. And for that, I'm happy this year.
Also, I've been going to therapy. The location is our rooftop, the therapist is a soothing playlist, and the inkblot pictures are the stars and the traffic lights, but it's therapy nevertheless. It gives me a chance to just realign myself, relax, and think. I like thinking. It never makes me happy, but it's fulfilling. The time I spend on the roof is perfect, but above all I wish I wasn't alone up there. Just someone to sit with, maybe to say something occationally, but just someone to share the moment with, silently, independently, but together.
That then ties into the unhappiness that caused me to write the post (because I don't write happy). God damnit, I need a boyfriend. I need to find somebody to love (there, the quote's been said, and it shall not be said again). Here I am, 16, and I've never been kissed, never even been on a date. Can you relate to this? No, no you cannot. And then there are those that have had the good fortune of a close companion, but are always complaining. Count your blessings, why don't you, and just be thankful you're not me! It's nice, sometimes, being the last sane one, but the price paid for being so is growing ever more steep. I can't wait to get the hell out of here and meet some new people.
It's September
What the hell?
What the hell?
