The Band Bus

Resurection

2010-02-10T15:54:00.000-08:00

It's been a while, eh? A lot has been happening, and I just need to put it out somewhere.

But first, new goal! Let's try to keep this place as unangsty as possible. It seems like every post on here is just laughably horrible. It's just so darn hard being a middle class, white teenager these days. Now I'm in college, so it's time to nut up or shut up.

Something weird happened last night. I looked around the room, out the window, and felt like I was home. Flagstaff and NAU have become my home. Finally, everything fits. Well, sort of. I'm starting to feel adultish, and thus am learning to stand on my own two feet, but I'm still lacking in a lot of areas.

My main problem is finding a job. I NEED a job. Not want, need. I need to start building a resume so I can apply for jobs I want and not immediately get shot down because of my glaring lack of experience. I suppose you can count being the Online Chair for Relay as work experience, but at the same time, that doesn't make money. I like money.

I love how frugal I've become in just these last few months. I don't buy clothes, movies, or games (with one huge, HUGE exception). I consider a $15 grocery trip to be pushing the limits and a $8 movie ticket to be ridiculous. Again, the seeds of adulthood are starting to be sewn.

Of course, adulthood also includes not shirking your responsibilities, so I should go do my readings, writings, and LonCapa. Expect some more posts. Having these little moments of introspectiveness is really helpful.

A Letter To Sam Adams (not the beer)

2009-01-25T09:40:00.001-08:00

Dear Mayor Adams,

Talk about a shitty week for you. I've been hearing a lot of talk about you resigning, and I'm here to say don't do it. If it goes to anything, let it go to a recall election later this summer. Legally, I believe you did nothing wrong, so you shouldn't have to lose your job over this issue.

Mr. Breedlove was 18 at the time your relationship became sexual, as both you and he have stated, along with third parties. Also, as you and others have mentioned, it was Breedlove that initiated the relationship in the first place. While I do find it rather...ewwy that you had a relationship with someone that was over half your age, I don't have the right to judge. It was consensual and legal. Many criticize the fact that you lied about it, but I believe that we should let he without sin cast the first stone. Everyone has lied, and I'm sure a majority of people have, at one time or another, lied about their sexual relationships. It's only human.

There is simply too much to be done in this city to waste time over a ridiculous issue like this. You plan to do so many positive things for this city and I hate to see it all go to waste because of what should be a non-issue. Schools are desperate for funding, our infrastructure is falling apart, and joblessness is reaching new heights. Portlanders elected you with an overwhelming majority because they believed -- and hopefully still believe -- that you are capable of handling these issues.

Voters put you into office, so if you must leave, let voters take you out. In the mean time, don't let this issue distract you from what you were elected to do: govern Portland.

Sincerely,
Sarah

I can't think straight when I'm angry, but I'll just say it: I hate republicans

2008-09-03T19:08:00.000-07:00

Yes, I know some, and yes, they're good people. But fuck 'em.

I've had it! Someone, please, for the love of god, tell me why an intelligent person would be a republican? Name one, ONE republican president in the last fifty years that didn't a) damage our economy, b) essentially spit on civil liberties, and c) made things just generally worse. There is no logical reason to be a republican. I've thought long and hard about this, so now I'm watching the Republican National Convention. (I'm a firm believer that everyone should watch both sides of the debate).

So, here I am, watching it (Giuliani, actually), and... I'm more confused. These people are idiots! Drilling isn't going to help! We need alternative energy! Don't chant, people! It's stupid! No! Stop it! This would be funny if it weren't so scary. Now they're booing! Why are you booing? He just said something about Barack's policies THAT MADE TOTAL SENSE! It was logical, showed deep thought, AND THE REPUBLICANS BOOED!

You're the party of freedom? YOU'RE the party of freedom?! With the exception of the slave thing, you've done nothing but limit freedoms! What. The. Hell.

I...I can't watch this any more. My blood pressure's scaring me. I remember why I love this country after the Democratic National Convention, and now I just realized why I hate it so much. Because people like this VOTE.

Back to my first request, however... Please, someone, explain to me why people are republicans. There's got to be some logical reason I'm missing here.

Lyrics?? On my blog?!?

2008-06-27T23:25:00.000-07:00

Well, first, I just want to say, it's not that I don't care. It's just that, I'm not sure how to talk about that sort of thing. I'm here for you, even if maybe it doesn't seem like I am.

The song's called Long Away (by a little band I rarely speak of ever. You probably haven't even heard of them... Queen? Yeah, never heard of them? Figures...), and given the sparseness of lyrics on this blog, I hope you read them. They say what I want to say, only prettier, and with a lovely guitar part.

You might believe in heaven, I would not care to say
For every star in heaven, there's a sad soul here today

Wake up in the morning with a good face, stare at the moon all day
Lonely as a whisper on a star chase, does anyone care anyway?
For all the prayers in heaven, so much of life's this way

Did we leave our way behind us? Such a long long way behind us
Who knows when now who knows where Where the light of day will find us?
Look for the day

Take heart my friend we love you, though it seems like you're alone
A million light's above you, smile down upon your home
Hurry put your troubles in a suitcase, come let the new child play
Lonely as a whisper on a star chase, I'm leaving here,I'm long away
For all the stars in heaven, I would not live I could not live this way

Did we leave our way behind us? Such a long long way behind us
Leave it for some hopeless lane
Such a long long way, such a long long way
Such a long long way, I'm looking for
Still looking for that day

Look not for continuity, for there is none

2008-05-07T20:03:00.000-07:00

***Before I get into it, the "it" deserves to be properly explained. Writing is really theraputic. The other night was really crappy for me, so I picked up my pencil and wrote. I had to think for the first few lines, but then it became almost subconscious. Reading back over it, I had to say a few times, "Woah, I have no recollection of writing that." So, it's not really written well, really. It's written with emotion. I felt loads better after doing it (actually, that's a lie, I felt worse, but feeling worse in turn made me feel better... Get it?). It's a bit long, and if you're not inclined to read it all, the last six paragraphs are really what matter. ***

I need to write. Otherwise, I think I might explode. Where to start? Heavens. I don't know. I feel again. That's nice. Granted, "feeling" means feeling incurable depressed, but it works. It's a fulfilling sadness, if there is such a thing.

I'm have a hard time coming to term with my mediocrity. My claim that I'm not smart is going to ratify itself very soon here. I'm going to get a B in physics. Of that, no doubt exists in my mind. I think it'll be relaxing, in a sense. Once perfection is shattered, I'll be fine. I'll be normal. It's not like NAU or wherever I choose to go is going to care. One B isn't much. My ACT and SAT test scores will help me out.

I'm battling. Really, I"m just rying to write to keep myself busy. Maybe eventually something meaningful will come out.

I'm a shell. I'm not what a human should be. I'm going nowhere. If I had never existed, it wouldn't change anything.

That's bullshit. Of course I mean something. My parents, my friends, my pets. They need me.

My mind's a fortress. It's faulty, though. It's formidable in fair times, but shatters when things go ill. I'm readying for a fight that will never come, making talking points for an argument I'll never have.

Fucking physics! I wasn't ready. I don't want the mirror held up to me just yet. Why do I have to be so horrible at something I love? I'm going to get a 2 on the test, I know it. I"m not smart. I'm just a shell that excretes information when called upon. I'm nothing.

Why can't I just be like everyone else? I'm sick of me. I'm tired of telling myself to take comfort in my own company. I talk too much about myself, but that's because so few ask, and there's so much I want people to know. I don't want to be a wisp anymore. I don't know what to do, though. It's all I've known. Give me a personality, give me strength, give me confidence. Just give me the building blocks of a normal person.

Give me someone to hold, someone to confide my secrets to. Friends, friends, friends, that's all there is. That's all I need, I tell myself. If that's all I need, then why is everyone else scraping and pleading for more? I'm still a child. I need to grow up. I need to be normal.

I need to cry and scream and laugh. Instead, I go through a daily pattern of pleasantness. It's a straight road. I don't want that road, damn it. I want hills! Great hills! Sweeping valleys! My spectrum varies in little shades, but I want to know what it's like to have the whole spectrum.

I can't do this, i can't do this, I can't do this. I'm alone in the dark, and I don't know what to do next. I hear you, you say you're there, too, but I can't find you. You know this place, but it wasn't this dark before.

I need someone to care. Why don't they see the one that's pleasant all the time? Do I have to be a bitch and throw a tantrum to be seen anymore? I want to reach out and love, but there's no one there to love back. I'm not sure if I can do this anymore.

Seventeen soon and never been kissed. It makes me cry. No amount of academic achievement can overshadow this fact. It's life's test, and I'm failing it. No one can know what this feels like. It's like still being at the starting line after the race has begun, or being the only one not in on the joke. It's breaking me. I need help.

I'm part of the Cod Corp!

2008-04-23T19:52:00.000-07:00

You don't know what that is, but it makes me very happy!

Typically I don't draw, but for Freddie, I'll make an exception

2008-04-16T20:59:00.000-07:00

Because I love talking about myself....

2008-04-08T19:48:00.000-07:00

1. What event most shaped your character?
getting cancer, for the good and the bad.

2. What is your earliest childhood memory?
We just moved into our house and a guy was checking the windows or something... I have no idea, it's fuzzy, but I think I was around 2 at the time

3. Have you ever witnessed a miracle or seen something that could not be explained? If so what was it?
No... I wish

4. Do you believe in God?
I don't know... Yay for being agnostic!

5. Do you believe in the afterlife?
Well, I figure if it doesn't exist, then it's not gonna matter, because we'll just go *poof*, but I like to believe there is some sort of something after all this. We become so tied down with life all around that we forget what an extraordinary thing it really is, and how bizarre. So, why can't there be something just as weird when we die? So, in short, yes.

6. Do you believe in evolution? That humans evolved from apes?
Makes more sense than anything else.

7. What place would you most like to travel to?
Switzerland, because it's so amazing and swiss! The Alps are gorgeous, and I really want to see Lake Geneva. And the fact that there's a statue of Freddie in Montreux also is an incentive, lol.

8. Do you believe in till death do us part?
Uh, sure...maybe....no? Pass

9. Do you support same sex marriage?
Yes, yes, a million times yes!

10. Why or why not?
Because all the reasons why not are bullshit. Normally I try to skirt around the issue and understand both sides, but this is one of those things that if people seriously think that letting gays get married is going to destroy the institution, they deserve a smack to the head. You don't have to approve of gays, but you can't discriminate against them and take away their rights. They're people, too, for goodness sake. Sorry, the AIDS book has me fired up about these sort of things...

11. What changes would you like to see made in our government?
Let's preferably get some dedicated, well-meaning people running it.

12. Who or what was your biggest inspiration in life?
Well, my mantra that I've adopted has been to just love life, no matter what's thrown at you, and I adopted it from my idol, who I'm sure you know of by now, so I guess my biggest inspiration has been Freddie Mercury. Sounds rather silly, though

13. Have you ever had a near death experience?
Naw, I live in a bubble world.

14. Do you believe you can learn from elderly persons?
Of course. I just think of all the wisdom I've picked up just this year, and if you multiply it by 80, that's a whole lot of valuable stuff that you can learn.

15. What decade would you most liked to have lived in?
70's and 80's. The music was hot (Queen in their hayday! That had to be something....), the movies were rockin' (Star Wars! Check out those effects!), and life was pretty damn sweet. (Except for the bits that sucked)

16. What historic person do you most admire? Why?
Not really sure. There's way too many to choose from.

17. Do you think prisons reform people?
No, it just makes them worse (usually). It's an environment where people look at your crime with a positive eye, and criminals shouldn't get encouragement!

18. Do you believe in global warming?
Yes, and if we don't figure out something soon, or do something about it, we're gonna have to deal with some serious reproccusions.

19. Do you do anything to conserve energy, or help the environment?
I try to turn off my lights, and, um... no, not really.

20. Do you think space exploration is necessary?
Totally! It's a source of inspiration in a world that desperately needs it. The world freaked when we landed someone on the moon. We can do that again with, say, Mars. It's the final frontier, and without a frontier to explore, people get tend to devolve and turn on each other.

21. Do you think world peace is possible?
Of course not, but I think it's something to strive for nevertheless. People need to reach out to each other. With technology making the world smaller, we have a tremendous opportunity to learn from other cultures and see that there's very little that actually separates us.

22. Can you concentrate with loud music on?
Oh goodness no. Right now I've got My Heart Will Go On playing, and even that's blocking my thinkings.

23. Do you think reading a book is important?
Totally. It opens you up to so much that you've never know, ideas you've never thought. They can let us dream, and teach us lessons we can use throughout our lives.

24. Who is your favorite author?
Not sure, I don't read fiction much

25. Have you ever read the bible?
Bits

26. Do you ever write in a diary?
Every now and again, mostly for Future me.

27. How important is money to you?
I'm not gonna lie, money's pretty nice to have. With it, you can see the world, you can live confortably, you can afford health care (something that I know is gonna be costly for me), and you can give back with it.

28. What is a perfect day for you?
Taking a drive somewhere, and, with music providing the narration, losing myself in my thoughts. (I'm, of course, not driving, however)

29. What do you daydream about?
Wow, my answer for the previous question flows nicely to this one. Well, typically, I'm doing extraordinary things with extraordinary people. When I grab onto my thoughts, though, I can steer them towards answers, questions, that thing that I should have said, things that I should say, and a wave of complicated pleasantness.
30. What is your dream?
Do something extraordinary (even if it's only extraordinary in my own little bubble)

31. What are you doing later today?
Posting on my blog, I suppose, seeing as it is the later part of the day. Why, want to go out for coffee or something?

2008-03-27T12:17:00.000-07:00

I wish you'd give a damn more. When I placed third, you never said "Congrats!" or "Good job!" or even acknowledged that you were aware of it. Also, when I declared what I felt to be a pretty major statement, you never said a single thing about it. It makes me think maybe you're not cool with it, and if that's true, that's fine, but I'd just like to know. You don't care at all about the things that go on with me. Granted, there's usually not that much, but when there is, a little interest would be nice, please.

If I Might Say a Few Things

2008-03-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

I did this a while back, and it felt therapeutic, so I figured why not try it again? It's a few nameless messages to people/things that I should get off my chest.

I don't feel like I'm settling for you. I could be really happy with you. Like, dancing-in-heaven happy. You seem to be what I've been looking for for years. Just, what others expect of me, I don't know... maybe I am settling.
I, um, well... I think that I'm starting to develop feelings for you. It's totally wrong, and it would totally mess up our relationship as friends, but, goodness, sometimes...
I really wish you would learn to stand on your own two feet. It's like an addiction for you. I have a really hard time respecting that, and therefor, I have a really hard time respecting you.
Tell me some things every now and again! Isn't that what friends are for? I'm not in that circle of trust, I guess, which is weird, because I thought we were close.
Thank you for just existing. It'd be utterly devoid of inspiration without you.

A Pleasant Obsession

2008-03-07T17:23:00.000-08:00

Not really what's compelling me to do this (perhaps I'm going slightly mad), but...

Then and Now

2008-02-12T21:51:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's amazing how much change can go on in just two years. In the grand scheme of things, it's really not a whole lot of time, but bloody hell, look at the evolution we've all gone through! In general, I feel like I'm such a richer person. Bullet point time!

Musics: Jeeze O'Pete! I think this is about the most evolved out of all my areas. I mean, Freshman year, I didn't really give a damn about Queen. I remember seeing this guy who had a Queen t-shirt and thinking, "Psh, they just had Bohemian Rhapsody. They're not that good. Green Day is so much better...." Ha! And, true story, it was Andrea that made me get my first Queen song. I, quite frankly, found the song boring. Of course, I now find the song boring also, but that's just because I've heard it much too much. I was just beginning to dip my feet into the musical world then, with Carry on my Wayward Son, Bo Rap, and Blitzgrieg Bop being among my top listenings. Now I've even evolved to whole albums. I'm pretty much in love with News of the World, a Night at the Opera, and (pst, don't tell anyone) Abbey Road.
Movies: Well, actually... really, absolutely no change here. I like the big blockbusters, specifically those involving the fantasy and the esplodies. Yep, pretty much the same as freshman year.
Emotions: Jesus bloody Christ. I was an angsty little son of a bitch back in freshman year. Hell, I even cut myself once (with a tack, mind you, and I've seen my cat make deeper scratches). Now, well, I'm pretty easy going. I've had my ups and downs but, you know, I'm a pretty cup-half-full girl now (and now when I say cup, I think of... well, you know...). To be honest, I rather love life.
Love: Angst, angst, and angst pretty much defined that year for me. Hell, now, I don't even have a crush. Before I was so hormonally driven, I practically fell in love with every guy I met (and then cried about it later). Now, Valentines Day is coming up, and the only thing I'm worrying about is whether I got enough candy for my friends.
Thinkings: I've started to, at the same time, think big picture, and then block out the big picture. Get what I'm saying? I take little mistakes with a grain of salt, because what does it matter int he end, except make us unhappy for a moment? It's not going to matter in the great scheme of things. And then I try to ignore questions like "What does it all mean?" and "What the purpose of my life?". Instead, I say screw it, be happy, and enjoy your own company and the company of others.

Yay, I love life now.

Live!

2008-01-25T22:44:00.000-08:00

For a second tonight, I felt something. For a moment, I glimpsed, felt a world independent of time. A world shared by our parents and grandparents and their grandparents, all together. All lives swirling in a state of ecstasy, just out of the sheer joy of being. There was no future to worry about, there was no past to brood over, there was just now. We could reach out and touch past generations like they were no farther than this keyboard. No uncertainties. We were alive, and that was all that mattered. No one had died, no one was reminiscing over the old days. There was no reason to fear the future that would never come, so all we could do laugh and dance and live!

Yeah, silly… I wish it could have lasted more than a moment, though.

In response...

2008-01-23T22:52:00.000-08:00

Why the hell to people have such a problem with happiness? Feeling good about life isn't a crime, you know. Smile a bit, be self-loving, forget about what others do. Sorry, this is really just a response to Aubrey's response to Christine's response to my response to her post (I could shorten that sentence, but I don't want to). C'mon, show a little love for life! You're going to end up miserable, shriveled and bitter if you don't say you're awesome every now and again. Yes, everyone puts up with crap, but if you don't give yourself a pat on the back after it all, then what motivation have you got? Also, there are varying levels of crap, don't even get me started. I think I win the lifetime crap award, as far as that goes. But the greatest source of joy should come from yourself. After it all, you need to remind yourself that you're awesome, because you are!

Mopey McMopester

2008-01-06T01:27:00.000-08:00

I haven't complained in a while. Mustn't have that, my Precious, oh no....

Has everyone all of a sudden discovered what the hell sex is? It seemed like naive bliss, then BAM! sexy times! Don't get me wrong, there's a little rush of, I don't know, rebellion or naughtiness every time I talk about it with someone, but it's like... I don't know. I guess I'm still just a kid and everyone's grown up.

Oh, and another certain thing that's been wiggling around in my head is that I don't really feel like I'm really accepted into any group. Sure, I hang out with a certain clan, but sometimes I'm worried I'm just a nuisance, like this little fruit fly that keeps buzzing around, like... Madalena. It doesn't matter what the truth is, this is how I see myself, or rather how I think others see me. It's been going on forever, too. First I tried to assimilate with Andrea's friends, but, God, it was so... boring! They're nice people, but Jesus! talk about intelligent things every now and again! I guess that and just the horribleness of elementary school kinda gave me a complex where I don't feel like I belong anywhere. And even when I'm in a group I like, I feel like I'm just a face that keeps popping up, that people acknowledge at first, but really just want to ignore it.

I don't know, I'm probably just being mopey and paranoid, but it's not fun when you spend your whole life as a third wheel of some sort.

So, this one time on the internet...

2007-12-21T23:15:00.000-08:00

Oh dear me, the iron knee.... Ok, I just got my new laptop (woo!) and I'm in the process of blinging it out. I needed to go on a hunt for a cool new wallpaper, and the best place I know to get pictures of any kind is 4chan. I click on the link to /wp/, then click the "I am over 18" disclaimer, and then laugh a little, thinking, "But there's never any pr0nz on /wp/. Only on rare occations --" I'm cute short by the sight of the very first wallpaper: a mosaic of what I'm sure was several screens from the same porno (which I later found out to be Big Wet Asses 12). So, uh... you never see unicorns in my room... (I'm waiting, Universe)

I'm Baaaaack

2007-11-14T22:20:00.001-08:00

It seems like the age of blogs is coming to an end, seeing as new posts are terribly infrequent. My last was exactly one month ago. It's nice, though, to have something of reference a few years down the road that reminds me just how stupid I was way back when. Like I said, though, several posts ago, it's hard to post when I'm happy. I just can't. That's not to say I'm not happy right now. I'm currently forcing myself to sit down and say a few things, for posterity and whatnot. This year, I've just been happy. Well, not so, I suppose. I was pretty depressed for a while there, but things realigned themselves, and I'm better than ever. Life's pretty sweet anymore.

I'm really finding myself this year (I say that of every year, though). I am who I am, and I think I know that now. And people are who they are. If they're happy, then I shouldn't interfere. Even if it comes at a cost, we're all going to go our separate ways here soon enough, and in the end, the only one we can account for is ourselves.

Anyways, I've just been happy these past few weeks. I love this time of year, so that could be a huge part of it. It could be also because in all the classes I've been in fear of, I currently have a pretty solid A. And it could be because of someone, someone whose friendship with me I don't quite understand but am most grateful.

Also, the song '39 by Queen. It's amazing. Listen to it. It doesn't make me happy in the way that Banana Phone makes me happy. It acts more like an eraser, getting rid of any angst, any anger that I may have and just leaving me with a pleasant, happy, tingly feeling. Also, the song is a sci-fi story set to a kind of country sound, and it's sung by Queen. What more do you need?

And now, for some pictures...

Things To Do Before I Become Senile

2007-10-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

Go to the top of Larch Mountain
Spit off the top of the Eiffel Tower (done)
Scream into a canyon
Go on a road trip alone or with a friend
Learn conversational Arabic
Have a major revelation (done, but open for more)
Lose 20 lbs
Scream myself hoarse (done)
See New England in the fall
Get a level 70 on WoW

I'll think of more later, and many of these are just passing fancies, I'm sure, except number one. That one is what made me write the rest of the list in the first place. It's been on my To-Do list since elemetary school, and it's never, ever going away until it's complete. Number four is a pretty major one, too, but Larch Mountain comes first.

Hippies, and other tales

2007-10-02T20:28:00.000-07:00

One post a month.... wow. In my defense, I really have nothing much to say. I've complained about pretty much everything.

Except hippies.

I hate hate hippies.

It's not a rational hatred. It's not like they shot my cat, or, rather, stole my cat and released it into the wild. (PETA, Hippies, what's the difference?) I just don't like hippies. They're dirty and smelly and the whole "yay peace" and eco-aware thing annoys me. Let me also state that my definition of a hippy is anyone who differs widely from the norm and shuns the mainstream like it's a gas-guzzling SUV. People who stop liking a band if it becomes too popular. People who wear hemp. People who watch only indie movies (of which I will rant about later in this post). People who cannot figure out how to wash their hair. Maybe a better term would be Indie...people (not Indians; there's already two of them, and it's confusing enough). Like I said, it's not a rational hatred.

Indie music: people who can't sing who choose to make their career in the music business. Bloody hell, if you're only going to talk for half the song, and then sing with a nasally voice, just go write a damn book.

Indie movies: Angst. Angst angst angst angst. Boy has angst, boy learns life lesson, boy has less angst. The end. Throw in a few details, and you've got the synopsis for nearly every single indie movie ever made. They're all just so... talky. It's boring. Guess what I get to do in my real life? Talk! You know what movies are for? Entertainment! Now, why would I be entertained by something I do everyday? You know what I don't get to do? Explode things, watch gigantic battles versus the forces of good and evil, see giant robots beat the ever loving shit out of each other, or watch a middle-aged man try to get laid in a very comedic way. Now those could make a movie (not one, though, of course, although giant robot battles set as a backdrop to the story of a 40 year old guy trying to get laid would be... different).

Go ahead and argue. Go ahead and say I'm being narrow-minded and arrogant (if that's even the right word). I know I am. I'm already fully aware I'm being stupid and that my arguements have very little justifications. Like I already said twice, this is a totally irrational hatred. Go ahead and dispute it, though. Maybe I can be saved.

Junior Life

2007-09-16T01:52:00.000-07:00

Woah, last post on September 1st. Sorry about that. Of course, I suppose there's really not much to say. That's a good thing, though. When I don't have anything to say, I'm happy, or at least content. So... yay!

This year... oh boy, this year's going to be... fun. The thing is, though, that despite having three college-level classes, and really only one "slacker" class (which isn't really even a slacker class, for me at least), I feel really good about everything, and I'm pretty sure (and this may sound rediculous) that it's because I finally don't have a PE class. To be quite honest, I've always harbored a good deal of fear towards doing physical things in front of others. I'm an intellectual sort. Running and throwing things isn't my forte. I'm the one chosen last, I'm the one with the greatest lap time. Anyway, those days are dead and gone, thankfully, and now I can flex my mind muscles. And for that, I'm happy this year.

Also, I've been going to therapy. The location is our rooftop, the therapist is a soothing playlist, and the inkblot pictures are the stars and the traffic lights, but it's therapy nevertheless. It gives me a chance to just realign myself, relax, and think. I like thinking. It never makes me happy, but it's fulfilling. The time I spend on the roof is perfect, but above all I wish I wasn't alone up there. Just someone to sit with, maybe to say something occationally, but just someone to share the moment with, silently, independently, but together.

That then ties into the unhappiness that caused me to write the post (because I don't write happy). God damnit, I need a boyfriend. I need to find somebody to love (there, the quote's been said, and it shall not be said again). Here I am, 16, and I've never been kissed, never even been on a date. Can you relate to this? No, no you cannot. And then there are those that have had the good fortune of a close companion, but are always complaining. Count your blessings, why don't you, and just be thankful you're not me! It's nice, sometimes, being the last sane one, but the price paid for being so is growing ever more steep. I can't wait to get the hell out of here and meet some new people.

Holy Shit

2007-09-01T22:59:00.000-07:00

It's September

What the hell?

2007-08-30T16:10:00.000-07:00

I JUST LEARNED HOW TO WHISTLE!!

I JUST LEARNED HOW TO WHISTLE!!

Ah, you internets... you please me yet again

2007-08-23T23:14:00.002-07:00

So, I'll begin by asking this: why do flammable and inflamable mean the same thing? They should be opposites, complete and total opposites, but no.... If paper is flamable, a rock should be INflamable. Now, what's the opposite of "flamable"? For the love of god, don't let it be "unflamable". That would be just too bloody confusing. "Antiflamable", maybe? "Aflamable"? "Does not catch on fire"? Whatever. My point is, I'm all for having alternate words for things, but do us a favor and at least make the words reasonably different from eachother!

Now, what I should be doing right now is reading Last of the Mohicans, of which I'm only through roughly half of the 370-some pages, but instead I choose to post about things that make me happy! Kittens, for example, but not just any kittens. If I am to "l-o-l" at a kitten, it is required to have a caption that's adorably appropriate and in a scarcely discernable form of English. Another is fanfiction. Specifically, bad fanfiction. I mean, things bad for even fanfiction standards (and that's pretty damn bad). Anakin flying to Antarctica and slaughtering all the porr penguins and liberating them of their wee "happy feet" is a shining example.

I suppose it's required once I find something new I love, to look at the various ways the TV show/movie/cartoon has been torn limb from helpless limb and raped (in that order) by prepubescent fangirls. Over the past two months, Transformers has really, really grown on me, so I just couldn't resist a little look-see at what the fanfic world had to offer. Though I only took the time to read one (and why I chose that particular one I really, really do not know), but the listing of pairings was enough to send me simulaneously into fits of laughter and horrible stomach pains. Maybe it's my fault for plunging head-first into those that were rated "Mature" (there's really no fun otherwise), but for teh love of God, how does a robot that transforms into a cop car rape a human?

First thought, for some reason, was "Why?!?" Whether I was refering to the robot's actions or the author's decision to write it in the first place, I'm not sure. One pairing that's exceedingly (and frighteningly) common is Sam and Bumblebee. For those unaquainted or for my Alzheimers-stricken future self, Sam is teenage, human boy, whereas Bumblebee is a giant robot that transforms into a sporty little Camero. The more I thought about it (and I'm slightly ashamed about how long I thought about), the more it felt like "the coconut and the swallow" bit from Monty Python. Seriously, how the bloody hell does that work? Could he maybe... no, that wouldn't work. Well, I suppose it could, if he stuck it in his backside. Huh... and that was about the point where I gave up and just read a fanfic. Turns out the hologram they can project in the drivers seat can not only become solid, but function as a normal human being for the robot, sexual desires and all! Who knew? Discover is such a lovely thing. I have yet to find out how robot/robot sex works, but heaven help me, I'll find out soon enough!

Ah, you internets... you please me yet again

2007-08-23T23:14:00.001-07:00

Beware of Dean

2007-08-21T13:04:00.000-07:00

I saw this headline in today's paper:

First image that came to mind?

First thought that followed? "Well, that's a little extreme, don't you think? He's not even running this time!"

Actually, I guess Dean is a hurricane and a fairly big one at that, and, in fact, NOT a former presidential hopeful. Who knew?

I'm Getting That Feeling Again...

2007-08-12T22:21:00.000-07:00

Sorry the posts of late have been more about fluff than my musings about things, but there's really nothing to talk about. Certainly nothing I can properly put into words. But anyway, with all the recent falling out of love and falling in it, it leaves me wondering just what I'm missing. This is not a new thing, though. I think a teenager without at least some dating experience is just downright unnatural. Hopefully this year will prove to be more fruitful then the last, oh, sixteen.

Minesweeper the Movie

2007-08-10T11:14:00.000-07:00

http://www.collegehumor.com/moogaloop/moogaloop.swf?clip_id=1770138

Ignorance is, in fact, bliss

2007-08-06T18:55:00.000-07:00

Last week, I was in Ashland with my mom and her friend, Jan. We saw a Shakespeare and some other comedy, and it was great fun. Driving back up, we stopped at the Oregon Vortex which is, for lack of a better word, a mindfuck. I went it thinking, "Oy, stupid tourist trap," but left thinking, "Wait, no...but that's not...what the fuck?" Anyway, we dallied there for quite a while, and ended up near home late, so we stopped at McMenamin's, just me and my mom. I don't, quite frankly, like hanging out with my parents. I find those heart-to-hearts awkward and go to great lengths to avoid them, but lo!, we were forced into one.

I will not account to you all the meandering soliliquies, the frequent moments of uncomfortable silence. The jist of it was, however, that soon after I graduate, my parents are going to divorce. This, actually, did not come as quite a shock as you may think. Last year, one day before my birthday in fact, my mom mentioned the idea of them separrating. Lovely birthday gift, eh? So, I've had a year to mull over that, and I've come to grips with it. It's meant to be, and it's good for everyone in the long run.

So, why the grievances? Because in two years, my family, as I know it, will be dead. Two years. It's not some ambiguous, oh-it'll-happen-eventually type of thing. My family has an expiration date! How fucking messed up is that? And now I have to stomach this, like the slow journey up a rollercoaster, knowing the terrifying plunge is inevitable. So, that was my week. You fare better?

Pool's Closed Bitches

2007-08-01T15:01:00.000-07:00

Tonight is slated to be a battle of epic proportions. Good and evil shall collide in ways man cannot yet fathom. We shall give them nothing, but take from them everything! Their newfag faggotry will blot out the sun! But we will fight in the shade! Let it be known that few stood against many! We do not forgive! we do not forget! WE ARE ANON! AND TONIGHT, WE DINE IN HELL!

Just Try and Get it Out of Your Head

2007-07-31T15:53:00.000-07:00

2007-07-30T00:03:00.000-07:00

Dude, ok, I've been known to make some pretty bizarre playlists, but the best ones are the ones that just kinda happen. Specifically, the Recently Added. Currently on mine, the songs range from Pokemon Christmas Medley, the audio version of all the HP7 spoilers, Green Day's cover of Lennon's Working Class Hero, various Harry Potter songs, and song from the Optimus vs. Megatron scene in the 1986 Transformers movie, The Touch. Not rightly sure why I said that, but... ch-ch-chawklit reign!

4chan Destroys Souls

2007-07-26T23:40:00.000-07:00

I have become a /b/tard. That's how I came upon the leaked copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. It's the cancer that's destroying my innocence. For those unaware, 4chan is an image forum, and /b/ is its random board, where there are no rules. /b/ is like your best friend, your worst enemy, and the guy that molested you when you were ten all rolled into one. If it was big on the internets, it, in all likelihood, started on /b/. There are no taboos, no line it will not cross. This said line does not even exist. One rule does exist: Tits or GTFO! On /b/, sure your girlfriend may be dead, but did she really have to mess up the grass?

This place destroys souls. Cruelly and unforgivingly, it will rip out your innocence, shove it up Luna Lovegood's pooper, and make you eat it. I can say I've only had one X-rated dream in my entire life prior to this summer, but since I discovered 4chan, I've had several, and each one as nightmarish as the next. I've started to become turned on by the most random, disturbing things, like this!! :

Why? WHY??? As if I didn't have enough troubles as a teenager, now I have to try and explain this to myself! God damn /b/!

There's no surprise left when it comes to the human body. I'm not just talking about stuff below the belt either. I'm talking about innerds and guts and stuff. It's the single most vile, disgusting place on the internet, but I still love it oh so very, very much.

So... when's that Harry Potter 8 coming out?

2007-07-22T00:55:00.000-07:00

I'm dead. It's dead. At 12:20 a.m. on July 22nd, I ended, for my part, the journey I set out upon so many years ago. No HP 8 to hop around joyously over. It's done. Finished. Gone down the curtain and joined the Chior Invisible. At least J.K. threw in my favorite two characters there at the end. That made me happy. But, all in all, I'm totally and completely dead, emotionally speaking. No more epicness. Fwoo, though, that book was one wild ride. I'll say no more on the subject (I think I've done enough damage already) except to say that that was one freaking good book. Especially last hundred pages or so... er, ahem, shutting up now. I need to find some nice, quite place to mourn, and then, in all likelihood, write fanfiction.

2007-07-15T02:18:00.000-07:00

I've seen something... something I shouldn't have seen until the 21st... Dude, if it's real (and it for sure looks like it) then holy crap...

EMU PIMPS RIOT!

2007-07-14T23:33:00.000-07:00

What began yesterday as a mere rustling of the feathers has exploded into a full out emu pimp riot. It is believed to have been caused by unfair representation in the Semi Pimp Tour, a multi-country festival showcasing all things new and exciting in the world of trans-species pleasure and entertainment.

Though many have not heard of it, the Semi Pimp Tour has been considered by many to be the most influential and eye opening event of all time. Held only once every ten years, this Tour is the most premier of its kind and has even greatly assisted in the creation of such organizations as PETA, the NRA, and NAMBLA. The tour, never one to shy away from the tough issues, intends to largely focus this year on the growing concern of bird trafficing, which has recently been hit on several fronts.

Perhaps one of the most public, having even garnered the attention of the Pope himself, is, of course, the growing trend of underage bird erotica. "This is, without question, the most heinous offence against our Lord man has ever devised. It's hardly even physically possible, for one thing, having sexual orientations with a baby bird. Jesus Christ, just think of the size ratio! That should set off a red flag right there! Of course, if it were the infant of a very large bird, like an emu or an ostrich or a pterodactyl or something..." Pope Benedict spoke before thousands of worshippers in Vatican City during Eastern Mass this year.

Though no pterodactyl children have yet been found Rule 34'd, the other two mentioned, emus and ostriches, are the most common in instances of this crime. Emus have taken the greatest hit, however. When asked why, one prominent propieter of an emu harem replied, "It's racism is what it is! It's only 'cause they haven't got as interesting of plumage as there fancy-pants cousins! Let's see who we'd be blamin' if the plumage was flipped, eh! Let's see who then!"

Another global issue that has affected the selling of pleasures has been the ever present terror of bird flu. Because those who seek trans-species entertainment still wish to seek their enjoyments, the government acknowledged that the avian brothels could not be shut down. So, to protect both the birds and the customers, President Bush issued discounted bird flu vacinations to all brothels, or nests.

The proprieters of these nests, however, still had to pay, and many were forced to pass it on to the consumer. The price for tailfeather skyrocketed, leaving many regular patrons angry and unable to pay. Those who seek emus had it even worse, as they required extra doses because of their size as well as blood type. On July 6, the disgruntled many, nearlly 10,000 strong, gathered together at the Washington Monument, brandishing rubber chickens and chanting, "Free bird! Free bird!"

The Semi Pimp Tour originally planned to headline emus, as they have been the fastest growing form of interspecies erotica over the past decade. Due to religious pressure, as well as pressure from the health community, the Tour elected to pull the appearance of the emus, and instead bring in prominent officials to speak about the issue. Of the 34 separate emu pimps originally scheduled to display their wares, only three remain in the roster of those to appear. This information was released yesterday and that was what sparked the riot.

The 31 infuriated pimps assembled first, and called up others who sympathised with their cause. Without time for hesitation, the emu pimps, their birds, and the assorted tucan, camel, and badger proprieters that identified with them marched on Washington, several hundred altogether. The peaceful protest was short lived, however, when an emu broke loose and ran off, nearly trampling an officer. The policemen took it as an attack and opened fire, causing the formerly peaceful emu pimps to return fire. Most of the emus broke loose in the attack, overrunning both pimps and police. The gunfire lasted for nearly twenty minutes, the pimps taking shelter beind the bodies of their former hoes and the police in their cars and surrounding buildings.

Though the official report has yet to give us an exact body count, initial reports mark the death toll at the tens of millions, making it the bloodiest day in the history of the world.

A Proper Finish

2007-07-11T13:20:00.000-07:00

Given the frequency of the posts after my return, one may think I'd have been kidnapped en route. I reckon the problem is I've been meaning to say so many things that they all just filled something of a blockage. Now, I'm not entirely sure if I should go for the big picture, or the meaningless little things. The latter is infinitely easier to write about, and requires no invested thought, yet the only pleasure comes from the former, naturally. Well, let's dispose of the garbage first, and then move on to the vague thoughts that trick me into feeling, well, thoughtful.

Deadwood's amazing. Seriously, you need to watch this show. It's a western the way westerns should be. That is, crude, raw, and filled with whores. If you like... well, I'm not entirely sure what to compare it to, seeing as it's never really had any other show to come close to it as far as style goes. I'll just say that if you like damn good television, you'll like it. Oh, and it's probably best if you aren't really bothered by the phrase "fuckin' cocksucker," but even if you are, you'll get over it right fast.

Next bit of trash (although I deeply regret calling it that) is that I'm flat out addicted to Queen. Seriously, it's bad. Really bad. I... I can't listen to anything else, because nothing even comes close to Freddie's vocals and the unbelievably epic style of Queen. All I can do now is sit and wait for it to phase out like every other thing that takes my fancy, but part of me hopes to God it never does.

Last bit of trash here. I appear to have taken ill. A cold in July. How's that for bizarre. Anyways, I feel rather like crap, and no thanks to all the social calls. Two days, two days since we got back (including the day we arrived). That's how many days I've had to myself. I reckon that ain't helping much.

Alright, now all that being said, I can move on to the fun bits. And naturally, they all escape me at the moment... ah, fuck it, not again.

I suppose one may be curious as to the outcome of the trip. It doesn't feel right to be home. A day for both Canyonlands and Arches? What a load of crap that is. During this trip I saw sequoias, waterfalls, plains, deserts and valleys. I've seen sunsets on the Pacific and sunrises on the canyons. I've come across the greatest beauties nature has to offer. So then, I suppose you can figure how coming home isn't an entirely pleasurable experience. Routine and good company are enjoyable enough, but there's nothing sweeter than adventure.

"Certainly, travel is more than the seeing of sights; it is a change that goes on, deep and permanent, in the ideas of living." - Miriam Beard

Timing has never been a strong suit of mine, either. I was so eager to be a 6th Grader and be "top dog", yet alas, I took sick, in my own fashion, and missed out on nearly all of it. I planned this trip with idolizing eyes. Every day I lived, I lived for the day I'd see those canyons again, yet a month before we departed, apathy, like a plague, began to creep over me. This trip could have been so much sweeter, had it occured six months earlier. Most pressing, though, is the fact that, at the moment, I couldn't give a rats ass about Harry Potter. Whether he lives or dies is no longer of concern to me at the moment. I'm afraid my timing is just flat out rubbish, but I will say that it is nice to be back and relieved of the close quarters with my parents. Here's a picture that serves as a proper finishing to all things that need finishing.

Egads, got to write this fast...

2007-06-30T17:52:00.000-07:00

Ever have a thought pop into your head that's so rediculous, you just burst out laughing, and every one just stares at you like you're a lunatic or something? I just had one of those. Osama Bin Laden smut fic... Oh Lord help us.... I'm sure those have to exist somewhere, in some God/Allah forsaken corner of the internet. I'm not entirely sure why I thought of it. It just kinda popped up, like, well, a pop-up.

Oh, I don't have the internet at the place at the beach, so I'm writing this from a restaurant computer (?!?). Sadly, that also means I can't upload the rest of the pictures, and I've got some pretty amazing ones from Yosemite, including a blury one of a bear that we nearly hit with our car. Pretty fun stuff.... Anyway, this computer is limited to 30 minutes per customer, so I have to go. I think there's an internet cafe or something around here, so I might try and hit one of those. Oh, and I'm back in Oregon. Go ahead and celebrate now.

Pics

2007-06-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

I don't want to go through the whole shenanigans of searching through my photos, waiting for them to upload and then accidentally deleting them, so I made a Facebook album instead. You don't have to have an account to see them I don't think, and I really recomend you take a looksee.
Behold! The linkage ... http://hs.facebook.com/album.php?aid=31718&l=a2ef1&id=828590503

Oh, and here are some totally unrelated LOLcats....

What Matters Most

2007-06-23T17:48:00.000-07:00

It is with great resistance that I say this: it's our last day here. It is the last day that I may sit in the presence of these red, stately sentinels. It is the last time I may hear the Virgin River pass by as it breathes life into an otherwise harsh land. It is the last time in a long while that I may awake and find myself in this paradise.

This place, despite my doe-eyed musings, is in no way forgiving. There's more evidence of death - twisted trunks of trees that have no memory of their old budding leaves, vultures circling patiently for the next soul to fall victim to the desert sun - than of life. Run out of water, take a wrong step and you become merely another nameless to be claimed by the canyons. Yet in many ways life is far more celebrated here. Living things are sparce and thus sen individually rather than lumped together as they are back home. A drop of water is a godsend, and a cloud shelf is a good friend that never visits enough.

Someday I'll come back. I doubt I could go on knowing I wouldn't. Whether I can bring myself to live here is another matter. It's not the heat that concerns me. I've gone through 100+ degree days and find it more comfortable than I thought. What's stopping me from making my stand in a place that I love is the fact that I'll be joined by so many others. They come to find solitude and to get away from it all, yet inadvertently they end up bringing it all with them. Moab is Utah's Bend. I can't bring myself to aid in the taming of the West, when it was its wilds and spirit that I fell in love with. At the same time, though, we're being told to pursue what makes us happy. I'd work at a 2-star hotel if it meant I could be here.

Yet now I think of home, my current home, rather. I think of the coast, of the mountains, of the Gorge. Leaving that is as hard as leaving here. How can I be two states away from the coast? How can I be without so much green? Every thing's so fresh in Oregon, and much tamer. A storm in Oregon means the rain's falling just a little bit longer and the wind's blowing just a smidge harder. It's a metropolitan/rustic blend of utopia. It's safe, forgiving. And of course, once an Oregonian, always an Oregonian.

This is a conflict I do not take lightly. In which paradise can I find the greatest peace? The calm of a forest painted with all the colors of fall, whispering as a mountain breeze meanders by. Silently, the leaves are caught up and fall softly onto a still lake. The sun makes its way over the hills and mountains, sweeping away the fearful night, and the songbirds praise its coming. Then there's the canyon, an island in the sky overlooking lands man has never before set food on, and more assuringly never will. A gust of wind races past you and dives into the canyon and then nothing - not the rustling of brush nor the solemn eulogy of a raven. The silence is incomparable. No amount of decorated language can describe the peace you feel. You want to call out into the infinite expanse, for never before have you been so aware of the fact that you're alive. In the whole world, there are no others save you, and all that matters is you and the maze of white rimmed ravines and canyons that stretch for eternity, swallowing the sun in a riot of colors.

Heh, well, I think I've made my choice....

Day One and Two

2007-06-17T21:21:00.000-07:00

The following are random thoughts I had each day, some relevent to the location, others purely random. This post may be rather long, but I'm gonna try and post daily from now on. I'll post the best picture of each day on

Day One:

Eww...you know how truckers pee into milk cartons and beer bottles and then throw them out onto the side of the road? Yeah...I just saw one of those.
The English language makes no sense! I've been thinking about the word "come" (no, not in that way, and shame on you if that's where your mind went). When we say something singular like "He comes," we add an S to the end, but when the subject is plural and ends in an S, like "Ducks come," there is no S. What the hell?
Eastern Oregon has lovely wildflowers this time of year.
You simply cannot name a canyon Happy Canyon. They need badass names like Hells Canyon and Grand Canyon. Happy Canyon? Good god....
Ooo, an electronic billboard of psalms! What, crap, was that 6:31, 63:1 or 631? Stupid Bible chapters...
Holy shit, is that a machine gun!?

Day Two

You think you've seen bizarre things? Try watching my Oh-My-God-I-Actually-Remembered-To-Pack-It! dance.
Pelicans? Pelicans?? Yes, pelicans.
Idaho has dust storm warning signs. You know what other place has dust storms? Iraq. What else does Iraq have? Terrorists. Therefor, Idaho has terrorists.
Ogden, UT...why does that place sound so familiar...TAXES! It's where our federal taxes are sent! AH, no, not taxes! NOOO!
Cheerz, the cheerleading gym (actual name of a place)
There are no small houses in Utah
Jesus Christ! Look at all the churches!
"Now you know! Tell somebody!" I have Herpes. (That was an actual billboard sign. Ok, well, not the Herpes part)
Hans Zimmer to Led Zeppelin to O-ZONE (Numa Numa Song) to Simon and Garfunkel. Only on a Sarah Playlist.
M to the O to the A to the B it's Moab!

(sorry it's sideways, it was rightside up before I upload it)

I Hate This Time of the Year

2007-05-28T17:56:00.000-07:00

Everyone leaves. Last year's seniors were fine. I didn't know any of them, so it made little difference to me. But this year, I know some, meaning I will miss some. Joey, Trevor, Cory. What are band concerts going to be like without Cory's solos, or Joey's quirkiness? Where are the inappropriate sexual innuendos going to come from? I'm terrible at goodbyes. I've come around to the idea that after the seniors graduate the week after next, I'm most likely never going to see them again. Ever.

I've let each day of this year pass with such apathy, and then when I need them the most, there are none left to hold on to. I've let my year be about this summer, this blessed summer, but that was my ultimate folly. I let the day pass on its own accord and welcomed the night, when my only company was my own thoughts.

We act like we are immortal. I'm am not the only culprit in this crime. We all are. We let hours pass as though they may be made up at a later date, yet we are only given this one moment. Tomorrow is not promised. The dawn, the stars, the moon are not promised. Our whole life amounts to this one moment. How should we fill it?

Every moment of your life does not need profound thoughts or righteous deeds. A life that abstains from simply looking at a rose or the clouds is a life wasted. I am only saying, make today about something. It is not these years that define us, but the days. We have a world of opportunity at our fingertips, but what use is it if we do not grasp it.

We're Doing Trig in Algebra, So...

2007-05-22T22:59:00.001-07:00

I write fanfiction!! Here's the first chapter, and the linkage to my fanfiction.net page is... http://www.fanfiction.net/~elentine I know you don't care, but there it is. It's my new guilty pleasure. (Oh, and by the way, I'm trying to avoid any Mary-Suishness, but if I fall into that trap, I'm terribly sorry). This fanfic is also proof that I may be able to write blogs well, but fiction...that's another story.

Cynthrine lay motionless in her cabin, her eyes watching the fire dance in the hearth. It was the first snow of the season in the Colovian Highlands, and all manner of creatures sat in wondrous silence. Her hand, rough from blade and time, moved to the pendant that hung about her neck. The center Varla stone glowed brightly in the flickering light. It has been fifty years since it had come into her possession, and since, she has not aged a day, though the wisdom of the passing years and the burden of all that she has seen is apparent on her face. Her hands are still rough and callused, her body is stilled riddled with scars, and her eyes give the look of one who has seen far too much, though Time’s harsh hand has not touched her.

She stirred and climbed out of the bed sheets. Her cloak lay on a chest that was placed at the foot of the bed. She wrapped it about her shoulders, then slipped her feet into thick, fur boots. Moving to the door, she cracked it but an inch, and was bit with a fierce cold.

The door on frozen hinges creaked open. The landscape was not yet alabaster, but a dream-like state had fallen upon it. Not a bird nor bush nor bandit stirred. Such moments in Colovia were hard to come by and were short lived when they did. Cynthrine grabbed her walking stick and on her belt fastened only a small, Elvish dagger. “Come, Talos,” she called to the white wolf resting beneath the hearth. “Let’s take a walk.” The dog, old in years yet still strong in jaw, rose and stretched, knowing full well that a walk was never just that.

Eight years prior, Cynthrine traveled to Cloud Ruler Temple to greet new Blades and to exchange tales with old friends. As a token of their continued appreciation for all her services, they granted Cynthrine with Talos, a pup they had found wandering near the fortress. Smart and eager though he was, he made for a burden in the first year. After then, he grew to hold his own against beasts and assisted Cynthrine in the hunt. He was her dear friend and had without a doubt saved her life on several occasions.

Talos eyed his master with baleful eyes, wanting to sleep before a warm fire rather than venture into the frigid wilds. Her eyes, however, were upon the landscape, on the horizon that lay beyond the veil of clouds. There was a gleam in her eye, a desire for adventure. Motionless she stood, as the cold enveloped her and the snow drifted inside. Finally, she moved, but only to remove the knife from her belt and replace it instead with a longsword of similar Elven style. Talos savored the feeling of the soft bear pelt beneath his paws, for he now knew he would not be feeling it again for some time.

I'm Going To Hell...

2007-05-21T21:06:00.000-07:00

Why? I stole from a church.

Yeah....

Oh, and I called a midget a fourth grader. Not to his face, of course, but it was said.

Yeah, I think my everlasting soul is screwed.

B.A.N, yo

2007-05-20T12:15:00.000-07:00

The Band All-Nighter was pretty fun, but most importantly, it was without pressure. I didn't have to worry about a guy or anything, I could just chill and do whatever. Of course, what do I do when I can do whatever? Play Halo 2 for a quarter of the night and watch Cars. I love that movie. Well, I really just love it for the canyons and whatnot (big surprise, eh?). Halo was pretty fun. I suck, of course, but it did feel good to run people over with a hovering car thingy. Also, being able to snipe Scott and Jeremy was a bit of a bonus.

My 360 ran Gears of War the whole night. I kinda wish I got in on the co-op play action, because I've never played it, but oh well. I played Guitar Hero once or twice, and I was able to beat Jeremy, which was cool. There were a couple things that ( was rather piqued about, but all-in-all, the best Band All-Nighter yet. I do wish there were more cups and drinks, though....

Gone Quiet

2007-05-14T22:18:00.000-07:00

Wow, the blogosphere's really quite dead, isn't it? No one's even commenting on anything. It's rather lonely. My breaking of the silence was going to be a post about the greatness of this country. It's about how we were founded on the belief that all men are created equal, and how we were meant as a breeding ground for new ideas of all sorts, and if we stay true to that prime directive, we cannot falter. But now I'm not really in the mood to keep writing it (it's unfinished, as many of my posts are), so there was my exceedingly brief overview.

I had a pretty good birthday, although, ironically enough, it was my quietest. You just usually don't think of sweet sixteens as being quiet. Hell, most people even forgot. I'd delve into that further but I'd hate to spoil a good mood. On a lighter note, I got that camera I was drooling over. It's got pretty much everything you could possibly want, except a good zoom. I can change the shutter speed, alter the exposure, basically do anything I'd ever want.

Summer's getting close! I'm so excited! We get out on the 14th, I get my braces tightened on the 15th, and then it's Hello Canyons! from then until July 3rd. Oh, and the band all-nighter is Friday. Wooty wootness. I'm fully prepared to duel anyone and everyone at Guitar Hero, unless of course that person is Sam, in which case, I will no doubt get my ass kicked.

I'm reading the Odyssey, which I think is incredibly fun. It's written in verse, which makes it even more enjoyable. The only downside is my project is to make a comic book, and I have to learn how to draw people in the next two weeks. It's not that hard, though. The human body's only the most complex figure to draw, particularly the hands. My god, it's hard to draw decent hands. Oh, and how do you pronounce Athene? Is it A-theen-i, A-theen-a, or just A-theen? Every time that name comes up (which is quite often), I ponder that question.

The clouds are yielding, the sun is ever present, and this is scarcely the time, but I feel it needs saying. Brighter days lie ahead. I can feel it, and it makes me anxious, to say the least. I want to sprint, I want to feel the wind of time caressing me as I race by. It's a rather odd thought to leave you with, considering the bulk of this post has been mostly fluff, but I just felt it could not go silenced.

Drive!

2007-05-06T15:33:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, my mom and I took a drive. I wanted to see brushland, ornate rock formations, and a golden landscape. I guess it was my early birthday present. We drove down to the mouth of the Deschutes River, walked around, and then out of curiousity, drove a little further. We passed through what seemed like endless wheat field and ended up at a town that can only barely be put on the map. All-in-all, a fantastic day.

Deschutes river, with a tree. I love the framing, but the focus isn't really right. It doesn't really look like eastern Oregon, though. Too much greenery. I guess we got lucky.

What can I say, I like flowers. And this one's pretty, purple and tiny. I'm fond of the framing, as well.
When one thinks of eastern Oregon, one probably wouldn't conjure up an image of a lush, green landscape, but hey, here it is. I love the Deschutes.

Not a particularly artful shot, but I just thought an old, dilapidated church looked cool. And by the way, if your travels ever send you near Wasco, OR, be sure to stop by. Honestly, it's the cutest little small town (and by small, I mean our sophomore class could probably double its population, if not triple it) I've ever seen. It's a quaint little oasis in the middle of rolling wheat fields.

Happy 420, dudes....

2007-04-20T17:13:00.000-07:00

Angst, angst, angst....

2007-04-19T22:21:00.000-07:00

Do you have those nights where you add up all the events of your day and, no matter how many good things happened, no matter how hard you try, things just don't sum to a possitive? And all you can do is just ride it out until sunrise, when the slate can be wiped clean again. A day is not measured by the hours you laugh, but by the moments you cry. The bad, if ever it has the chance, will outweigh the good.

It should have been a great day, though. That's what gets me. I spend all day at school just chillin' with friends, a near perfect day for me. There had to be a chink in this chain of enjoyment.

It's small, trifling really. To say it sounds like nothing at all, but what outright ruined my day was my destroyed pot. It was so good! I poured my time, effort and heart into that piece and for what? An underglazed lid?! I worked so hard, so goddamned hard on that thing, getting the sides smooth, gettting the lid to not jiggle around, and keeping it moist over Spring Break (a fate not easilly achieved).

But fate has this way of saying, "Fuck you," when you least expect it. There are two reasons why a piece explodes in the kiln: air pockets and moisture. Now, I neaded that clay meticulously, so air pockets were in no way an issue. So, some kid who should have never been putting the pieces into the kiln in the first place placed mine in there before it could totally become bone-dry, and now all I have of my days of hard work is a lid. Ms. Laudenback was incredibly appoligetic about it all, because she'd become fond of the piece as well. Apparently, I'm pretty good at this pottery thing. I find faults in nearly everything I do. I'm never satisfied with myself, but I was legititmently proud of this piece. Naturally, then, it was utterly destroyed. Well, universe, I hope you're quite satisfied with yourself.

New Blog Layout

2007-04-15T15:18:00.001-07:00

Yea or nay?

Secrets

2007-04-14T22:41:00.001-07:00

In response to Scott's post about secrets, here's a few of mine that I'm sick of caring for:

I can't take a shower in places that aren't my home. If I do, it's only because it's absolutely nessesary.
I'm happiest when I'm alone.
I envy the willpower of anorexics.
I play with my hair on the shower walls.
I'm a germophobe, especially in the shower.
I really, really want to run away. I even have the destination planned out.
My virginity is questionable.
I give in to racist stereotypes, even though I know it's wrong.
I spend a great deal of time in a Mary-Sueish fantasy world.
I'm a habitual liar.
Because of the chemo and radiation, if I want to have kids, I have to have them by my mid-20's.
I'm scared I've done all my living before I could really appreciate it.
How I view things depends on what music I'm listening to.
I love a place far more than I've ever loved a person.
I'm not entirely sure of my sexuality.

So there you have it. Some of my deepest, darkest secrets revealed, and I'm still standing. Secrets are burdensome, and the more you're brave enough to reveal, the better.

Yippee-doodle-daisy Bend Trip!

2007-04-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

Symphony needs to go on more trips. That was a blast. I love how the buses inadvertently split into quiet and loud groups. I was able to avoid Lori for once in the trip and get some peace and quiet, more or less.

And, wow, is Eastern Oregon amazing! I could move there in an instant. I forgot we had canyons. Canyons! Damn my forgetfulness, as I did not have a camera. Seeing that part of Oregon was like a little teaser, to remind me of the upcoming road trip. That area's wasted, though, if you don't have the Eagles and the Spirit soundtrack, because that particular music was written for such places.

There are known knows, then there are known unknowns...

2007-04-10T00:16:00.000-07:00

I've noticed my posts have become horrifyingly vain as of late (to say nothing of infrequent). That's not to say I haven't pursued the unknown. It's just, my profound ideas are like big bubbles. I can chase them through the fields as long as I wish, but as soon as I go to catch it, it bursts. Sure, I can catch the smaller ones, but it's the big bubbles I'm after. While I sit on my bed, looking at the stars, I chase trains of thought so profound and deep, they kinda surprise me. I reach conclusions that make life lighter. Of course, they burst as soon as I go to write them down.

I've thought about tape recording these thoughts rather than write them down, but most rides last for the briefest of moments, like little thoughtgasms. A second or two of light and clarity, then back to the unknown. The unknown's a lovely place to be, though. Anything's possible. Things we think are beyond the realm of possibility one century are done in the next. Laws are only relative to the times.

How then can we discount anything? The greatest revelation we can come to is the revelation that we know nothing. What I find humorous is that one of the greatest debates, science vs. religion, is about how to know the unknown. It's all just quite silly. They are two sides of the same lollypop. If the two sides would just stop arguing with eachother, they'd come to find just how similar they really are, and who knows, maybe this vast, seemingly infinite realm of the unkown would grow just a little bit smaller. Of course, the more we know, the more we realize we don't know, and that's really all that life and reality is: a great, big silver question mark.

All the Cute That is Knut

2007-03-24T23:10:00.000-07:00

Rant on why agnostics are the only ones without sticks up their asses?

Baby polar bear?
Agnosticism?
Polar bear?

POLAR BEAR!!

This ickle wittle thing is Knut. Abandoned by his mother who couldn't bring herself to get an abortion and his brother who selfishly died four days after being born, this little wipper-snapper had to face life on the mean streets. That is, of course, until zoologists saved him, gave him a blankie and a soccer ball, and took fatally cute pictures and videos of him. This, my friends, is the true American dream...except for the fact that he's in Germany. Knut, we salute you.

2007-03-20T17:28:00.000-07:00

What

The

FUCK?!?!?

It's happened before. Hundreds of times before. I'm in the middle of a quest, in the middle of a dungeon, and what happens? SPY SWEEPER POPS UP AND CAUSES ME TO START BACK AT THE GRAVEYARD!!

Do I need to know how many things I'm protected against? No. No one does. If I somehow want to know, I'll go look it up. Let me play my god-damn game! And, no, there isn't a way to stop the alerts without totally shutting Spy Sweeper down.

Now, this wouldn't be so bad if, say, the server was working fine, but when the latency is 1111 ms, I don't exactly have the tollerance for it. It never, ever happens when I'm just wandering around a city, no enemies in sight. It just has to happen when I've begun fighting something. Actually, not even began. I've just wandered close enough to it to start the fight, but I'm not in fight mode yet. And, of course, it takes a couple long minutes to go from the graveyard to my corpse. Woo-fuckin-hoo.

Fuck you, Spy Sweeper. Fuck you.

(BTW, sorry about the language, but this pisses me off to no end)

z0m6 iz a 7it1e

2007-03-17T22:35:00.000-07:00

ppl with bad gramer r uber lame there so stoopid i cant evn stand it i dont even think theyv herd of periods and wtfs proper speling its like your reading a totly dif langwage

Ah, screw it. That's too hard. I've been reading too many forums and playing too much WOW. My language has taken a serious turn for the worse as of late. I've been neglecting periods at the end of my sentances. I've been spouting off profanities, gamer profanities. For example, when someone's annoying me, I'll think "S-T-F-U!" rather than the actual non-abreviated statement. I blame WoW. The things you hear in Elwynn Forest and the Barrens are enough to drive you insane. In these places, Chuck Norris is still a legit idol. Anywho's, that's my current demon. Oh and a French speech.

Sorry this post sucks. I'm not in the mood. The only reason I'm on is because WoW is being ebil. I'm getting a 7000 ms latency for goodness sake! Try questing in Fargodeep with that! Jeeze....

Colleges....Yeah, eek

2007-03-03T21:58:00.000-08:00

So, I've got it down to four...I think. I'm staying on the west side of the US for sure, and I'm not setting foot in Southern California. I'm planning on majoring in Computer Sciences, I think, but my interests are inconsistent as the tides, so who knows. With that, here are my top four choices (in no particular order, mind you):

Boise State -- They're big, they're fairly easy to get into, and they have blue football field.
Southern Oregon U -- It's in Oregon (Ashland) and therefore much cheaper, there's easy access to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival, it's a bit of a party school (at least that's what my mom's friend, who went there, has said), and it's closer to all of you who are going to the U of O.
Southern Utah U -- 50% of the students had a GPA of 3.5 or higher, it's got a good range of computer-related majors, and, most importantly, it's in southern Utah, and we all know how I feel about that place. It's a few short hours from both the Grand Canyon and Las Vegas, and I acknowledge the fact that neither of those two things are related in any way, shape, or form, but are important nevertheless.
University of Washington -- Ok, this would be my last choice, which is funny, because this would be the hardest to get into. It requires - well, recommends -- that I get three foreign language credits, whereas the previous three colleges say I only need two for admission. The upside, of course, would be the fact that it's still in the Northwest, and that it's a big, well-known university.

Ok, I'm not ready for all of this. It's really quite horrible. Oh, what are your college choices? I'd really like to know, even though I have an inkling that I'm gonna be all by my lonesome in college. It's a pity U of O isn't a possibility....

A Trip Down PostSecret Lane...Again

2007-02-28T22:32:00.000-08:00

(Sorry it's not showing up - at least not on my computer. Blogger's been acting strange tonight) One of the aspects of this secret that I love so much is one of the responses...

You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? Even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.

You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

I've used this quote myself when I rambled on the same subject. It's from Garden State, by the way, but everyone who reads this blog should know that.

Jeremy Irons Playing the Oboe!! swoon

2007-02-28T22:04:00.000-08:00

Tis random. In fact, incredibly random...but I love it so. Even if oboes or scruffy old guys aren't exactly your thing, watch it anyway. It's an amazing song. Oh, by the way, Bre, we're renting this movie and watching it sometime. It's called the Mission.

It's not giving me the code to paste in, so this link'll have to suffice.

MY blog. MINE

2007-02-27T18:53:00.000-08:00

I was gonna post something humorous that would shine some light on my shrouded macinations, but because a certain someone complained, I'm gonna be a curmudgeon and delay a few days. I'm really annoyed when people tell me to post. Also, I hate it when people smack their gum and other food. Seriously, close your god damn mouth. I learned that curteousy when I was seven. Surely it's not too much for you to comprehend. Ah, look at me, I'm giving the seething masses exactly what they want. Shutting up...

A Few Things

2007-02-14T22:32:00.000-08:00

Alrighty, first off, is anyone else getting mail/emails from colleges? I'm getting about three letters in the mail each day and it's annoying the heck out of me. Also, my Gmail inbox is flooded with 'em.

Secondly, I've realized how incredibly easy it'd be to become a V for Vendetta / 1984 society. All any corrupt ruler would need is fear, and lots of it. Hell, we almost lost some of our own precious freedoms in the months following 9/11. A catastrophe happens, and people are willing to give up virtually anything for safety. It's frightening, really, when you realize that our whole society, concieved in Liberty and dedicated to the purpose that all men are created equal, rests upon the edge of a knife. A shove, and we could easily plummet, and with corrupt rulers, we'd never be able to get back up.

Third, I've been thinking a lot about Newspeak. In class, Mr. Kinney offered this probing question, which the half dozen or so of us that were actually listening heard: "Which came first, the words, or the idea?" Newspeak's purpose is to remove one's intelligent thought, until all that pours from your lips are hollow emotions. I don't know presicely what to say, because it's only in the wee hours of the night that I'm capable of deeper thought, but when a society destroys words, it destorys ideas. And that is doubleplusungood.

Recent Doodles

2007-02-12T22:46:00.000-08:00

It's a pity I spent all of Algebra doodling, because I think I was supposed to be learning something...

I was really bored, and it was really late. It's not perfect at all. Anduril was just an afterthough. Aragon has no hair. Aragorn needs no hair.

Yugoslavia?

2007-02-10T22:01:00.000-08:00

Sure, it's a week late, but it's my blog and time is irrelivent.

That Milwaukie game was...strange. We only lost by two points. Two! That's almost like winning! So, that was wierd thing number one. The second was that they were chanting Yugoslavia. Ok, I know they weren't actually saying that, but it sounded a helluva lot like it. That's wierd thing number two. The third, and most important was that the Colts won the Super Bowl. No, it didn't happen at the game, but it's strange nevertheless.

Here's what I said last year about the Colts failed attempt to get to the Super Bowl....

YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I'VE HAD TO SAY THAT!? THIS YEAR, LAST YEAR, THE YEAR BEFORE THAT, AND THE YEAR BEFORE THAT!!!!

BUT HOW DO WE NOT WIN IT THIS YEAR!?!?!?!??!?!?!?! UNDEFEATED FOR THE LONGEST TIME, ARE BEST PLAYERS ARE IN THEIR PRIME, SO HOW IN GODS NAME DO THE COLTS NOT GO ALL THE WAY!?!?!?!?

We were so close!! SO FUCKIN CLOSE!!! WHY'D HE HAVE TO MISS THAT FIELD GOAL!?!? IT'S JUST THE STEELERS, FOR CHRIST SAKE!! They smoked em last time! WHAT THE HELL'S DIFFERENT?!

So, Yay! I don't have to yell and get all angry this year! And of course, the year when I couldn't really give a damn is the year when they actually win it. Life's a funny thing. Still, woo, go Colts!

One of the wierder things on YouTube...

2007-02-10T20:15:00.000-08:00

Beatboxing Flute. Playing the Super Mario Theme.

I kid you not. Just watch it, then it'll make atleast a little more sense.

A Few Hints, But Nothing Too Obvious

2007-02-09T17:05:00.000-08:00

He's cute, although that can probably go without saying.

He's an instrumental musician (meaning he's either in band or orchestra).

When he's serious, it's quite charming.

Prior to this year, I never really talked to him.

He's quite funny, yet can be annoying at times.

Ok, that's about enough....I think you should be able to get it from that. Although, if you don't, well, yay. I still won't tell you, but think for a bit, and you should get it. Who have I been spending an increased amound of time with? Who have I been sitting next to almost daily? Ok, that quite enough for now.

Christine, I'm Sure You've Seen This, But....

2007-02-01T18:02:00.000-08:00

Dude, WTF? Now I most definately have to see Extras.

Ah, Crap. Not Again...

2007-01-31T20:51:00.000-08:00

Dang it. I can run as fast as I wan, but it's still going to catch up with me. Argh, I have a crush on someone. Technically, two someones, but one doesn't count, seeing that he's a celebrity and at least quadrupal my age (I speak of the uber sexy Jeremy Irons, whose picture (for my pleasure) you may find below). the name of the other someone, however...that is something to be known only between me and my cats. And probably the fish, seeing as he's a nosey little bugger.

So, yeah, this crush...well, I already know going inot it that it'll never culminate into anything, but hope knows no logic. You know what I really want to do with him? Take him into my basement, get on the couch, and....watch a movie. My needs are that simple. If that movie watching evolved into video game playing, I could totally go for that.

What sucks, though, is that I thought I'd be spared that portion of High School this year. Ugh, relationships that weren't....You're all familiar with the Jeremy saga, are you not? Now there's one rollercoaster I'm no inclined to throw up on again. No sir. Yet here I am, swooning. Friggin' hormones.

Proof of My Stupidity

2007-01-30T19:58:00.000-08:00

I want you to read the comments from "Billowy Capes of Pwnage". Find the one that doesn't really belong? Ok, now I want you to read "Wincing the Night Away" on Bre's blog. Then read the comments on "Billowy Capes of Pwnage." Find where it goes?

Yeah....I was so preoccupied with other stuff last week that I posted a comment for Bre's post on my blog. I think some pity is in order right about now.

Oh, speaking of Finals, I think I did pretty darn good on all of 'em. My percentage in Physics actually went up (wtf?) and everything else pretty much stayed the same.

I'm gonna miss my stupidity. (That's an actual sentance I wrote. My mind is still elsewhere. Here's the sentance I meant to write....)

I'm gonna miss Game Programming. That was possibly the most fun class I've ever had. It gave me a chance to geek out, and the bus ride gave me a chance to wind down. Plus, I had first lunch...*tear*

But, yeah, I just wanted to mention the little comment mistake I made last week. I found it rather hillarious.

Out of Denial

2007-01-29T20:10:00.000-08:00

There's something I've been dreading for the good part of a year now. I've shed a good many tears on this fear, and devoted several restless nights to it. I was outrunning it for a time, for things seemed strong, and I suppose they were. As of late, things have been changing. Things are turning down paths I cannot go.

While it pains me to say that my fears are becoming actualized, it's nowhere near the pain I imagined it to be a year ago. Sorrow, yes, but not overwhelming depression, as I predicted. It's an unfortunate happening, but it does feel right somehow.

I am me. I cannot change that. I cannot do certain things or act certain ways. Not even for you.

I'll cherrish the years when nothing could come between us. We have lived through some tough things and we've never faultered, save for the passing of time. It would be lovely to rewind, but I'm through wishing for that. I know it's futile. Besides, I'm becoming me, and it's someone I can be proud of. At the same time, you are becoming you, and I pray it's someone you can be proud of as well.

I wish you all the luck in the coming years, if I am no longer a part of them.

My New Secret

2007-01-23T20:49:00.000-08:00

Billow Capes of Pwnage

2007-01-22T20:30:00.000-08:00

I've been watching Kingdom of Heaven a lot lately, and you know what I've come to realize? It would be awesome to have a billowy cape. They make dramatic storm offs far more convincing. Jeremy Irons' (*swoon*) character does this a lot (he plays the semi-drunkish, angsty type), and it just looks so cool! You can be all "I ain't listenin' to you, bitch, 'cause I don't care, I do what I want!" and then dramaticly storm-off with your cape billowing behind you. Ok, perhaps the words don't exactly match the image, but the bottom line is thus: large capes make hissy fits far more enjoyable.

Don't believe me? Then I advise you to speak with Billowy Cape Man.

Eekers! Sorry, guys!

2007-01-14T22:35:00.000-08:00

Wow, I'm in a really good mood right now, because I finally got five stars on Free Bird. Woohoo! That being said, I'm really sorry about the hiatus. It's been, what, two, three weeks? Jeeze. Again, I appoligize. Whenever I go on the computer, I end up checking my email, but then the ADD kicks in, and then I start playing World of Warcraft. Jebus, that game is adddicting, especially once you find people you actually know on there. I was questing with Chris E. last night, and I created a charater on Gnomeregan today, because I think Nick said he and Welker have low level characters on that server. I'm sure you're ever so glad that I just gave you those tidbits of info, but that's been my life for the past...I dunno, few weeks?

Recently, as y'all know, life's been a bit crazy. Ian's party, our slaughtered backboard, stocks. Oh, apparently L.O. killed us on Saturday, but thankfuly spared the hoops. That Love guy scored 36 points in that game, so if we played just him, we'd have won...by two points.

I've forgotten what an amazingly good movie the Fellowship of the Ring is. It's, like, really, really good. Truth be told, I haven't watched it all the way through since...oh man, I don't even know when. My extended DVD skips at about the part when Sauruman is using the plantir. I think. And then when the movie's shown on TNT, I don't come in until well after the halfway mark. So, yeah, that's an awesome movie. You should watch it. Again.

I had a rather odd mini-revelation earlier this week. One of my favorite music genres is...Alternative Folk. The World Spins Madly On, Orange Sky, the Blower's Daughter, and Waterfall are all amazing songs, and apparently they're alternative folk. Folk! Who'da thought...

Road trip reservations are finally complete. We got done planning everything, then realized there was one day that we totally skipped over, so we added another day at the Austria Hoff Lodge (Yosemite area). That'll be cool, because there's yet another canyon south of there I'd like to see. Of course, by this time in the trip, I'll, in all likelihood, be, like "Seriously? Another freakin' canyon?" Ahh...summer just can't come fast enough.

I finally had it with Logan. Y'all know me. You know that it takes a helluva lot to take me to the breaking point. That should give you an idea of just how abnoxious this guy is. Before break, I called him an ass, which felt pretty damn good. In Game Programming, our final is to develope our own game, and I was able to get into a group with Quinn, Robby, Gabe, this Clackamas kid, and no Logan! Yay! To top it all off, they went with my idea. I really hope we get it up and running, because I'd love for you guys to play it.

Sorry about the pure babbling. After a two-and-a-half week hiatus, you should atleast get some lengthly, polically charged rant, but, hey, at least it's something. I could say that I'll try and be more on top of things this year--holy shit, I just realized this is the first post of the new year! -- but I'd just be lying out my ass. Finals are coming up, and you can expect me to be irritable from now until the end of January. Wooty-freakin'-woot.

Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd

2006-12-28T18:10:00.000-08:00

Greatest.

Song.

Ever.

Know that I don't say this lightly, but this song, for lack of a better word, rocks. It's starts out as a slow ballad type thing, then goes into this orgasmic guitar solo that'll make your head explode. I kid you not. This is an interpretation:

Fingers shouldn't be able to move that fast. I'm no rock connoisseur, but I know enough to know that this is some good shit. Actually, I know virtually nothing about rock. It's rather sad, really. The only stuff I was exposed to growing up was the Eagles, the Beatles, and the Beach Boys. I've only been getting into the good stuff for about two years now. Hell, I hadn't even heard Hendrix until just this summer.

But, yeah, enough about my rock idiocy. This is an awesome song. I actually heard it on Guitar Hero, and it was actually pretty funny. The audience was calling for an encore, particularly of this song. The menu popped up saying "Do you want to do an encore?" or something like that. I said hellz ya, and then another yes/no thing popped up saying "Are you sure?". I pressed yes. Another thing came up: Are you really, really sure? A bit nervous at this point, I still stand with my original decision, and a final "It's OK, you can still back out. Are you absoluletly sure?" Once I got past that stuff, and into the actual song, it was a bit freaky. It starts out tame, but a third of the way into it, the head-exploding guitar solo kicks in, and damn, my fingers hurt after it was all said and done. Oh, and then my guitar player was abducted by aliens. Fun game, fun game...

Oh, one more reason with GH2 is awesome. At the end of the song "Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight", the drummer explodes on stage. If you've seen This Is Spinal Tap, you should get the joke. "He was just a flash of green light...and that was it, nothing was left..."

Back to the original purpose of this post, Free Bird is an amazing song. Oh, and don't listen to Shankill Butchers at night.

I'm Not In a Good Mood Right Now...

2006-12-27T12:51:00.000-08:00

As maybe some of you know, I got Guitar Hero II for Christmas. It's a blast. Hell, it even made me add a few more songs onto my iPod. I played the hell out of it last night, until my fingers got sore and I felt like I was begining to develope carpal tunnel. Today, I went downstairs to play it again, and found the cord chewwed in two. God, I hate Smokey. That's a friggin' $40 controller! What I hate is that I can't yell at him, because he won't know what the hell I'm yelling at him about. It won't do any good.

If only that were the only thing...

Some may have heard me ranting against my neighbors. They're like the neighbors from hell. They have yappy dogs--multiple yappy dogs! The kids that live there are rude and obnoxious. There's even been a little neighborhood fued involving their boat. No one on this street likes them. When they first moved in here, they had this blaring mini-bike that they would start riding at 10 a.m. I think they recked it, because I've been able to sleep in for the last year or so. So, imagine my delight when on Christmas morning, I hear that same beastly noise going up and down the hill. Merry friggin' Christmas.

Ain't no normal like the paranormal

2006-12-22T19:21:00.000-08:00

It's no secret that I love the paranormal. I religously watch Ghost Hunters. Hell, for a while, I religiously watched Most Haunted. I've soaked up every ghost story I've ever heard. I've always loved the paranormal. When I say always, I mean always. Since I could read, I've read ghost stories. Since I was capable of intelligent thought, I wondered how? why?

This past year, my interest has really crescendoed. I'm aching to do an investigation. A real one, with atleast a voice recorder and a temperature gage. I've never, ever seen, heard, or experienced any paranormal activity, but I'm ready.

I've given thought to some group names, and of course going with the TAPS theme of have the initials written on a jacket. TOPS: The Oregon Paranormal Society. HNW: Haunted Northwest. HORS: Haunted Oregon Research Society (this one's a bit...questionable). NWP: Northwest Paranormal.

The Beach

2006-12-17T11:10:00.000-08:00

Honestly, this post should be about the physics of Linerider, or how sticking it to the man can result in concert cancelation and death, or my 5th grade Mary Sue (linkage), or even my fussy 1/! key. But it's not, because I'm feeling lazy. Instead, it's some gorgeous pictures from the beach. Enjoy!

A Generation Failed

2006-12-01T22:02:00.000-08:00

Two years. Two years, and we can finally set things right. But how many won't live to see then? How many sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters will fail to see that day, dying needlessly for a hopeless war?

So ignorant of the real world, we remain in this war for one reason: to attempt to save a failed legacy. How? How? How can any one person do this? Tomorrow, another soldier'll be killed. Killed for a lie. Killed for a loss. Killed for absolutely nothing. Nothing.

Iraq's "democracy" will be overthrown in the coming year, if not before. We can't win this one. For once, we're the ones that need to call it quits. America's been in this war longer than WWII. Now there was a war. There were equal weapons, enemy lines, and most importantly, an enemy. An enemy we could definitively label as "evil". A villain to make us the hero.

That doesn't exist now. We're both villains. "To us, they're the opposers of truth and justice. To them, we're the enemy, the evil empire. There is no good or evil, only hate." - LIFE as Seen By Cynical

Is it not our job to make the world a better place? To take it and improve it for the generations to come, while honoring the generations past. If that is indeed our perpose, then I fear we as a people have failed.

Here's to two years from now, and for those who will never see that day.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

2006-11-23T23:29:00.000-08:00

THE THANKSGIVING MEAL HAS BEEN EATEN, AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS??? IT'S NOW CHRISTMAS TIME!!!! WOOOOOT!!

Flight of the B-52

2006-11-23T21:48:00.000-08:00

It seems like every time I venture to my grandparents house, I'm fed a new alcoholic delight. This particular one included one part Kalua, one part Bailey's Irish Cream, and one part Grand Marnier, and all bad-ass. Holy schnikeys, dudes, it's freakin' strong. But it was ever so tasty. It's sorta like like a White Russian with balls. I'm not an alcoholic or anything, I just love the taste of alcohol. Besides, I think kids who're introduced to alchohol when they're younger (in moderation of course) are less inclined to binge and be reckless with it, because it's not some special, forbidden thing. I dunno, those're just my thoughts. Now, for the next few hours, I'm gonna be attempting to digest the pounds and pounds of food I just ate. I hear the average person would have to run 20 miles in order to work off Thanksgiving dinner. Ah, isn't America just dandy? I love Turkey Day.

Wishlist (yes, another one)

2006-11-23T16:56:00.000-08:00

Yeah, it's another wishlist on yet another blog. I'm copying Bre, who copied Spencer.

Electronics 'n' Things:

Wii!
Nikon D70s
Nikon D80
Nikon D50 (see a patter here?)
Canon Digital Rebel XTi

DVD's, Video Games, and Books. Well, a book.

Ghost Hunters Season 1 (DVD)
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron
World of Warcraft: Burning Crusade (PC Game)
The Elder Scrolls 3: Morrowind (PC Game)
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (DVD)
Cars (DVD)
PostSecret: Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives (Book)
The Sims 2 Pets Expansion (PC Game)
Gears of War (360)
Guitar Hero II (PS2)
Okami (PS2)

Sheet Music

That's all I can think of as of now, because I'm loaded up on turkey and stuffing. Oh god, that stuffing....

I Might Just Wet Myself

2006-11-11T20:46:00.000-08:00

You remember at the end of last year, when I got my Xbox 360? Of course you do. That was the period in which I was virtually unreachable. "No, mom! I can't talk right now! Look, I have to steal this guy's diary so that I may be accepted into the Thieves Guild, and I'm competing against two other dudes! If I don't find it first, there'll be hell to pay! I'm in the Dark Brotherhood, so I can do that, you know!"

This year, my dad's upped the ante. If I get all A's before Winter Break, I get a gift of my choosing. At this point, my mind was reeling, so I decided to narrow it down by asking the price limit. I was expecting something around $200. Oh, hells no. He made the price limit be $800!! Yeah, I know! I nearly choked on my ice cube when I heard.

Before he came in, I was browsing for digital cameras, because I have had it with mine, the Canon S2 IS. The photos nowadays are blury, washed out, and just poor quality. I'm sick of it, so on my quest for a replacement, I came across the perfect one. A Nikon (oh yes, a Nikon) D70s. Damn, that camera is fine. And guess what the Amazon price is! $799.95!!

Oh yes, I kid you not.

Seriously, if I got this camera, I think I'd wet myself. It'll be nice to have two cameras, because my mom's an avid photographer, but I'm the greedy one that always has the camera. Of course, now I can't control when she takes a picture of me... Oh well, after all, it's a Nikon, for Christ's sake! For those who are less educated in the intricate ways of photography, Nikon's are really, really good. They're the Ferraris of the picture world. Whenever I read the description, I tear up ever so slightly. Not convinced? Here are some pics. If you want to read about it, and share in my exctasy (or atleast know what the hell I'm talking about), here's the Amazon.com link: linkage.

I Hate Elections

2006-11-07T21:49:00.000-08:00

Seriously, fuck those things. You put your heart and soul into a candidate, into a measur, and what do you get in return? Failure. Total, absolute, crushing failure. But, for once, I can be happy ...and oh my god, is that that asian dude from Star Trek: TOS? Mr. Zulu, or whatever his name was (I'm a Next Generation fan). If not, it really looks like him. Seriously, he could be his twin or something. That's some freaky -- wait, I was saying something, wasn't I? Oh, right, happiness. Well, the Measure 43 vote isn't official, but it's leaning towards the "No" end, which means the majority of Oregonians aren't idiots!! I don't know about you, but that comes as a surprise to me.

Well, for once, I'm gonna make the most of this Election Day, and for a lifelong democrat, Duck, and Colts fan, that's saying something. "Oh well, there's always next--wait, what, we won? Uh...well, um, woohoo? W00h00!"

Tango's Word(s) of the Week

2006-11-05T20:49:00.000-08:00

Sesquipedalian -- Tango's Definition: Having satisfaction in destroying vending machines. My Definition: the scientific name of Bigfoot.

Circumlocution -- Tango's Definition: the process of people going around poking people with pins. My Definition: to avoid electrocution.

I thought they were funny. They're courtesy of TAPS Para-Radio. I have no idea what the actual definitions are, but these'll suffice.

I love this radio show. It's great if you like the paranormal. If you want to hear their newest episode, you can go here. I love it, but maybe it's just me.

Another Change

2006-11-04T13:01:00.000-08:00

I got bored of the leaves header, so I'm not going with something more....me. Yeah, it's a bit rough, but you try taking panorama pictures when you can barely see what's on the LCD screen. I'm at my grandma's house right now, so I've finally gotten around to putting it all together. There's another picture I want to have as my header, so I'm thinking about doing a Header of the Week type of deal. Until I get bored, of course.

What the Fetch?

2006-11-02T20:13:00.000-08:00

*this was written during 4th Period (Algebra 2)*

Woah, talk about odd occurances. I just had a conversation about the paranormal with Welker! Welker!!

I was bored in English (in which I have only a 99.55% something) so I started to sketch the TAPS logo. I was packing up to leave and Welker commented (it was really hard not to say "Welker was, like, ..." just then) "Dude, that's an awesome show." (or something to that extent)

I thought it was only Bre and I who watched it, but I guess not. Sweet! So, yeah, Welker's really into the paranormal, apparently. He's even been to the Shanghai Tunnels downtown! Hmph, lucky bastard...

It's cool when you find those little things out about people. Out of everyone, though, Welker??

Oh, by the way, The Guardian is an awesome movie. It's about time the coast guard got some recognition. They were the heroes of Katrina afterall. Yeah, sure, it's Ashton Kutcher, but don't let an annoying actor (at least from my perspective) deter you. If you need another reason, then you should know that the music's awesome. Yup, that was my reason for seeing it. Plus, I've always liked the coast guard. Going to the beach a lot will do that to you. So, yeah, that's my schpiel.

Oh crap, we still have 15 minutes of class. What to do, what to do....South Park!

Note: That day, I introduced Kathryn to South Park. It was a very touching moment.

Sorry, y'all

2006-10-30T21:44:00.000-08:00

My posting has been sloppy lately, and I appologize. What with WoW and homework, it just hasn't been a top priority. I miss having journalism. That's when I did most of my posting last year. Enough of that, though.

I can't believe how cold it got all of a sudden! It was pleasant fall and then boom! Winterish! There really isn't a better time of the year, though. I even revamped my blog in honor of it! By the way, how do you like it? It feels a little crowded. I'll mess with the HTML and see if I can fix that. HTML is so much easier now, because it has a lot of the same commands as BASIC.

So, anyway, this weekend was quite interesting. I don't think I've ever been in a room with that many black people! Afterall, I go to Putnam, and we don't have many of those. "He flirts with all the other girls, but I don't get angry 'cause he's my boo, so 's all good." Half of the words she used, (and when I say "she", I mean this one chick, Tiffany) I wasn't even aware were used outside of rap songs. I don't even remember the words she used, seeing as they're not in my upper-middle class white chick vocabulary.

So, uh, I talked to black people and I made it up to level 17. I have no idea how any of you lived without that information. I'll try and keep my posts more frequent (of course, that's what I said last time). As of now, I'm counting down the hours until the live Ghost Hunters thing. *Crazy fangirl squeal* EEE!

Just for the record, I thought I'd post this

2006-10-29T20:16:00.000-08:00

Sweet Jesus!

2006-10-15T18:54:00.000-07:00

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!

I haven't even begun to play World of Warcraft! I first had to install the five damn disks, which had to have taken atleast two hours, and just when I thought everything was fine and dandy, I start up the game and have to install a patch! GARR! I'm tempted to say "Screw it, I'm going back to Achaea!"

FINALLY! Ok, now let's see what I have to install now....

Hello World

2006-10-14T23:09:00.000-07:00

After several months of debating, I've finally made a desision. I am now part of the World. Of Warcraft. I don't know what empowered me to purchase it. Something tells me it's a mix of last week's South Park and a hightened sense of boredom.

So, now I have to walk down the long, slow path of n00bdome. I have no idea where to start. I think I'm going to be a human priest, because I get hurt so much that I need good healing powers. I've never played an online game before. Well, ok, I'm lying. I played Age of Empires with this other person once. Once.

Holy shit, this thing takes forever to install. It's 5 disks worth! Five! That's one more than 4! Eeg! Huh, wait...maybe I don't wanna be a priest. After all, it's a priest. Poopoo to that. Perhaps a hunter....but a human can't be a hunter, and I want to be a human. Gar, MMORPG's suck. Too many desisions.

Sloppiness

2006-10-01T15:38:00.000-07:00

Sorry about the sparatic blog posts lately. I've really gotten lazy. There used to be a time when I'd have a new post every day or so. The proverbial Good Ol' Days. There wasn't even a pirate-themed post on Talk Like a Pirate day! To catch up on the past couple weeks' events, I will try and be brief. Note the "try". I promise nothing. Just remember that instead of being several long posts, it's just one really long post.

Talk Like a Pirate Day! -- Arr, it be the best hol-er-day there is. Ye couldn't even talk to yer classes without called "Ahoy!" to a fellow sea-dog. As ye can see, me pirate-speak be a wee rough, but that don't matter. It be a hoot nevertheless. (And I ne'r got called "gay" once. Aye, I'll drink to that.)
Logan...argh, see the previous post. Now he's finally starting to get the hints, thanks to Mr. Sellevaag, so life in 3rd period's improving.
Speaking of 3rd Period...--You know the saying "You can't judge a book by its cover"? Of course you have. Everyone and their cat has heard it. Although, it's annoyingly corny, I'm beginning to see the relevance of it. I thought my English class was a bunch of school-hating idiots, and for the most part it is. There's a couple people, though, that really surprise me. They're actually smart enough to be in Honors. As long as one has an open mind, anything can be seen in a positive light.
Putnam's Winning Season--What the hell? Seriously, we're 3-1. That's more wins than losses! What the heck's going on? Are we, dare I say, kind of not that bad? I'm a democrat, a Duck, and a Colts fan, so I can maintain upbeat cynicism pretty darn well. But we've scored so many touchdowns that I'm beginning to memorize the fight song, which is just plain weird. If we get to 4-1, then I'm really going to be lost.
Last Weekend--Egads, where do I start? Well, spending the night with Aubrey was a blast. Not only did I explain to her the sleeping patterns of squirrels, but I got to meet Kuma! Ooo, she's so cute! The LO Saturday Market was everything an LO Saturday Market should be. Fancy, and delicious food. The pigs on a stick was a surprise, though. I had no idea how much I missed Oaks Park. The new Lewis and Clark Adventure (Through the Haunted Mine) is hilariously bad, and oh so very, very wrong. The shooting gallery was barrels of fun, as was ski ball. I can't believe we spent $15 for two 50 cent bead necklaces.
Last Weekend Pt. 2 -- I can officially say I've been to Nike Town. I can now truly call myself a Portlander. Andrea's birthday was like every other one of her birthdays: awesome. I was really touched when you included me in your family dinner. It really meant a lot. And the Melting Pot was AMAZING! Totally going back there for my birthday.

Things that've been happening

2006-09-21T19:45:00.000-07:00

So, you know that guy in my Game Programming class that was kinda cute and into me? Well, he's been creeping me out lately. He distracts me, and he never does his work. When I'm at school, I work. If there's work to be done, that is. He comes on way too strong, and it's bugging the heck out of me.

It's a wierd situation. He always gives me hugs and tells me how good I look, but I hate it every time he does. I don't get why. It's an enigma. He's the only guy that's ever said "You look really good today," so why on earth do I have to be so picky? Atleast I only have to put up with him for an hour every other day.

I'm not the stand-up-for-yourself, rude type, so I'm not gonna say something like "You know what, Logan, you're creeping me out. I think you should move somewhere else," but oh god would that be nice.

And he talks down to me! That's the worst pet peeve of them all. I may be a bit of an idiot, but if I need help, I'll ask. I don't need instructions for something I'm already doing. Just because I'm a girl does not mean I'm incompitent!

AND JUST STOP WITH THE ANAL PROBE JOKES!! THINGS IN ELEMENTRY SCHOOL AREN'T FUNNY IN HIGH SCHOOL!!

It's hard out here for a geek

2006-09-14T20:03:00.000-07:00

With the success of the Lord of the Rings, Spiderman, and Star Wars Prequel movies, it seems anyone can pass for a geek these days.

If every sequin-purse-toting, chihuahua-owning, Hollister-worshipping prep thinks they can call themself a geek because they saw Revenge of the Sith and Spiderman 2 (because Toby and Hayden are just sOoOoO hot!) than it is a sad day my friends.

If that is anywhere near your reason for seeing the best Star Wars movie of our generation (which just includes the prequels, so it's like saying it's the least offensive of all the flatulents), then please, oh please don't call yourself a geek.

Seriously, please.

Stop it.

A geek is someone who has not only seen EVERY Star Wars movie (not just the ones with bishy Hayden Christenson and Ewan McGregor) , but can quote nearly the entire saga. If you have frequently edited a website (not MySpace), discussed the phylisophical meanings behind any graphic novel or anime (not Naruto or Dragon Ball Z), or began a sentance with the words "Well, you know that one episode of Star Trek when...", well, I hereby award you with a ceremonial pocket protector, because you have been inducted into the Hall of Geeks. Welcome to the club.

If every sequin-purse-toting, chihuahua-owning, Hollister-worshipping prep thinks they can call themself a geek because they saw Revenge of the Sith and Spiderman 2 (because Toby and Hayden are just sOoOoO hot!) than it is a sad day my friends.

We geeks must fight back!

Do you think that, after decades--nay, centuries!--of persecution involving dodgeball and swirlys, we'd just let you into the club with open arms? No! Now stop where you are right now and return to the name brand stores from whence you came!

High School, Level 2

2006-09-06T19:06:00.000-07:00

I know you're kinda expecting another nostalgic "Ah, remember that time this summer when...." type of thing, because I do that a lot. Everything worth talking about has been said, though, so I decided to screw that and talk about recent events. The first day of school comes in two parts, which is nice, because the first day is the only exciting or enjoyable day of the whole year. Going back really didn't feel a whole lot different. It wasn't like a new chapter, or even a new section in the chapter. At best, it was just a new paragraph. A bit different than the year before, but not by much, and the routine could be picked up right away.

Day One: 2/5 -- It starts out promising enough, with Arend and a nice replacement for Hammonds, Reynolds. I enjoy those classes, of course, but it's the others that really reck the day. Back in middle school, almost every class spent five minutes a day just quieting everyone down. I'd forgotten that last year, with honors classes, but I'm brutally reminded of it in Mayer's class. To top it off, the person I know best in that class is Chris, who I said maybe five words to last year. And then I go from that hell hole to the snoozefest that is Algebra 2. And then I go home. Woop-ti-frickin-do. I give these 7 hours of monotony a 2 out of 5.

Day Two: 4/5 -- It's days like these that make school worthwhile. In French, we have a hot German exchange student who has the most adorable accent. When we heard him talk for the first time, all the girls in the class were just like "Oh yeah...." Then I have band, which is, ya know, band. Nothing more, nothing less. After a delightful lunch, I ship off to Schelenburg, where I find out that I'm the only person of the female gender enrolled in Intro to Game Programming. No problem there, though. It just means more for me. Hell, I already met a pretty cute guy. Following Schelenburg, I have Health with Hill, where we spend more time philosophizing than studying health. Again, no problem there. While I could've used a few more friends in the classes, it's still above and beyond the better day. I give Day 2 a 4 out of 5.

(If you've seen Xplay, I hope you get the reference)

Goodbye Summer

2006-09-01T21:35:00.000-07:00

Ok, so we still have four more days of it (god, that's it?), but seeing as it's now September, one can't really call it "summer" anymore. It kinda just feels like a long weekend now.

It's been a good summer. I actually did stuff, which is always a surprise. I grew to enjoy MySpace, the Shins, and the single life. I've come close to making my dream a reality, and on my terms to boot.

Enough looking back, though. Here's what's happened recently. I went in for my quarterly check up, at which the diagnostics people lost my xray orders. Again. After an hour in diagnostics, I spent an hour in the oncology office. It wasn't Olsen or Chu this time, though. It was this one chick that I'd never met, and decided to give me a rather lengthly lecture about things that'll kill me faster than normal people. Oy, like I haven't heard enough of those already. Included in the lecture was a bit about sexual precautions. Ha, no, that wasn't uncomfortable....

But back to the xrays. Apparently there was a spot on them they needed to check out. And no, of course they can't just do a simple MRI test to check it out. They want to do a full blown PET scan. Good god. I'm assuming no one here has had the misfortune of having one. Well, it begins with an injection of radioactive material with a very large needle. From there, you're told to sit quietly in a small, dark room for 45 minutes. They tell you to sleep, but when you're laying on a metal "bed", that's really not in the cards. So, after singing little songs and counting the holes in the tiles for 45 minutes, they take you out of the room and take you to the actual machine, several rooms down. Savor the journey. It may be the last time you move for two hours. The first one I had took the full 2 hours, but seeing as they just want to look at the leg this time, I'm hoping it's gonna be shorter.

I have no idea when this scan's gonna be, but if it's during school, I'm gonna freak. Am I nervous that they found something on the x-ray? No, just annoyed; annoyed that I have to waste several hours of my day on a false alarm. Oy.

In Case You Don't Get It

2006-08-28T23:04:00.000-07:00

I feel this trip needs some explanation. You're probably thinking "Ok, it's a road trip. Fun, but whatever." To anyone else, I'm sure that's what it would be. I can't explain why I want this place so much. It's like what Zach Braff's character on Garden State said: "You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? All of the sudden even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone."

I enjoy Oregon. Hell, I love it, but it just doesn't fit anymore, atleast not right now. In the fall and winter, I'll learn to appreciate this place again, but for now, I'm homesick. I need sweeping canyons, delicate arches, and...well, something that's not here. I'm in love, I swear, and every day that I'm not there takes a little piece of me. What if one were to take Andrea's bikes away, or someone where to ban Bre from all forms of music? You see, that's me without this place. It's a need greater than anything I've ever felt before. All of you have a passion, I know. Now, imagine yourself without it. Surely you can understand that.

I've Been Thinking

2006-08-27T13:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, so, I've been giving this a lot of thought, and the only way to win back some sanity is to go back to Moab and see everything again. Either it'll help, or it'll make things worse. The picture seen above is a road trip I've been planning in my head for quite a while now. The first major stop is Moab (C), where we'll stay for a couple nights, and have time to go see Arches and Canyonlands. After we've had our fill, we depart for Kanab (E), and go through Monument Valley on the way (D). Kanab is centraly located, and from there we can easily access Zion Nat'l Park, Bryce Canyon Nat'l Park, and Grand Canyon Nat'l Park (can you see a theme here?). From there, though, the canyon leg of the trip ends and we head for Yosemite, but not before passing through Las Vegas and Death Valley Nat'l Park first. We'll stay in Mammoth Falls (F), a town close to Yosemite, for a couple nights, giving the park the attention it deserves. After then, we'll cut across to the coast, passing through San Francisco (G) and up to Eureka, where we'll stay the night. From there, we'll travel through Redwoods Nat'l Park and up the coast to Newport. After spending a few nights there, we'll head on home.

From what I figure (from some recent research), the cost for lodging will be about $1200-$1300. I estimate the cost of gas will be about $450ish. Food and entertainment, well, I don't know. We can usually bring food time down to a snack and dinner, so for 12 days, it shouldn't be that expensive. Each park should be about $10 to get into, and we're going to eight. Actually, I think the year-long national parks passes are $50, so we'll probably just end up getting one of those. The total shouldn't exceed $2000, which is pretty good, I think.

I need this trip. More than I'm sure you can understand. I'm not going to drive it, though. Oh no. I couldn't appreciate the scenerey if I did. Or take pictures. God, if I couldn't take pictures, I'd go insane. So, right now, I'm just bouncing the idea around with the parents. My dad sounded eager to go back to Arches, so that's a good sign. If dad's on board, then that means the hard part's over. Now, I hope we have enough money....

A fun little thing

2006-08-23T23:43:00.000-07:00

Face it, it's the end of the summer, and we've exausted nearly every possible way to entertain ourselves. That is why I give you this (it's a nifty link, if you're confuzed). I don't know what it is, and I don't get how it works, but you type in a few words, then is starts spitting out words of its own, sometimes making sense, sometimes gibberish. Quite ammusing, actually. Here are some examples of what I got (with the part I typed in bold, and the stuff the computer says in, well, normal). I find the first one rather ammusing, although the ending resorts back to the gibberish I mentioned....

Once I was a Punk Rocker with Flowers In My hair and I m

Naughty penguins enjoy did did even know what I mean. is: there a Santa Claus? He exists as a complete sweep. of Rockies- POSTED: did did might Daddy catch seperate Moss reply use did did eg: Did you see that? Did you know that MySQL is running on the Sun: s to the Crazy Ones: The misfits. The Misfits, The Misfits, The Misfits, The Misfits, The Misfits, The Misfits, The Misfits, The Misfits, The Misfits, The Misfits, The Misfits, The Misfits, (the whole Misfits thing went on for several more minutes before I finally too pity on it and stopped it)

Jesse is a Crime Against humanity.... (lol, I found the similarities to be amussing)

Seriously, the amount of fun that can be had on this thing is rediculous. Words randomly popping up on screen doesn't seem like a laugh riot, but seeing some of the things it spits out is pretty amussing.

Le New Schedule

2006-08-23T10:19:00.000-07:00

Day 1:

1. Future Focus--Arend
2. Honors Physics--Reynolds
3. English 10 (wtf?)--Mayer
4. Honors Algebra 2--Stidham

Day 2:

1. French 1-2--Cauthers
2. Symphonic Band--Wilson
3. Intro Game Programming--Sellevaag (Schelenburg)
4. Health--Hill

I'm so excited!! I start out the day with Arend (yay!) and I have Intro to Game Programming!! W00t w00t!! Do and of you have any of these classes?

Mother Fuckin' Snakes on a Mother Fuckin' Plane

2006-08-20T16:59:00.000-07:00

The best movie-going experience ever. Period.

It had snakes, Sam Jackson, boobs, and semi-drunk SoaP fanatics. What more could one ask for? Plus, all the free posters and other swag was a nice plus. The poster's currently hanging on my wall. Well, I think it is....You see, the paint we used for my room is sorta sticky, so I just pressed the poster on the wall and hoped for the best. Surprisingly, it hasn't fallen down yet. But that's neither here nor there, so....

For those of you who went to go see the Return of the King with the school back in seventh grade (or the Ring 2, for that matter), imagine that experience, only multiplied by, oh, say, ten. Yeah, it was that good. From the crowd throwing rubber snakes at the first appearance of the slithery devils to playing the Product Placement Drinking Game (with non-alcoholic Icees, I swear! Although I can't say the same about the rest of the crowd....) to screaming out The Line when it came on (if you've been living in a box for the past year, and you don't know what The Line is, just check the title. Idiot....), this experience was awesome.

But no, I'm not planning on seeing it again. Why? Because that would just ruin it for me. Without the crowd, the movie, was, well, meh. Unless seen with a legion of SoaP fanatics, it's really not worth seeing. Ok, that's a bit cruel. It's friggin' Snakes on a Plane! It did have its funny moments, and I don't think I've jumped that many times in one movie. And, of course, there's snakes. On a plane! Let me put it this way: If you weren't excited about it before, your mind isn't gonna be changed afterwards.

Hold on, the Daily Show's doing something about mother fuckin' snakes on a mother fuckin' plane. YES! THEY HAD THE LINE!! But moving on....

Think of Snakes like Napoleon Dynamite. You're either gonna come from it thinking "What the fuck was that?" or "That. Was. AWESOME!" Or, in all likelihood, both, as I did, although "What the fuck was that?" was said with all due love and respect, of course.

Bottom Line -- Snakes on a Plane: yeah, sure, it's ok, I guess. Snakes on a Plane + Fanatics: The greatest thing EVER.

Looking Back Pt. 2 "Fix You"

2006-08-10T21:45:00.000-07:00

That was my theme song for the year, for really only two lines in the entire song. That's not to say my entire year was depressing, although reading this blog, you definitely get that impression. The funny thing is, I'm usually happy when I sit down to make a new post. But then, the fool I am, I let myself think. It's a downward spiral from there.

So, last post, I really addressed only one even that happened last year, even though there's dozens more. My "100 Posts Later" post really shows just how much I've grown. You see, back then, I actually thought the samurai level on Pump It Up was challenging. Oh hahaha, how cute. And, awww, I hadn't even finished Celebrian. Back then, I still thought of ice cream as a delicious, innocent dessert of youth. Little did I know.... (notice the 4 dots. At the beginning of the year, that would've just been 3. Thank you Mr. Hammonds)

FNF has really seen its ups and downs. In one post (back in January, I think), I had the time of my life. I rocked at DDR (but, come on, when do I not?), and I even placed 1st in laser tag. After the FNF in May, though, I really was considering investing in a punching bag. I wrote a furious entry in my journal, but I chose not to post it on here because there are some things even the Band Bus just can't take. That one post back in February that I talked about last time is about as nasty as this place gets. Also, the thing I wrote in my journal had a declaration that I found wasn't true at all.

And then there was pep band. Lets have a moment of awed silence for the pep band games that have been, and the ones that will be (although not the basketball ones; those sucked). I leanred many things during these past football games. One, that you can actually choke on a feather, and two, that saxophones aren't really all the bad. I can't wait for the season to start up again, because I've not tasted a cheese covered quarter in a long, long while. Of course, we're gonna be missing one awesome flute player, and the group has somewhat split, so things're gonna be different. The change is something I'm looking forward to though. And dreading. But that's what's fun about it, right?

Looking Back

2006-08-06T18:40:00.000-07:00

The new school year is swiftly approaching, so I suppose this requires a look back at last year; the good, the bad, and the ugly. I'm sure we'll all agree that it wasn't the best year. It certainly didn't top 8th grade, but it was enjoyable none the less. It may not have been as fun filled, but it definately made me realize a few things. Last year was a year of growth, rather than a year of coasting.

The moment that screams loudest happened way back in the month of February. You might know already what I'm about to say. Bre and Jeremy had just started going out. Well, this bugged me for several reasons, but the worst was that both these people that I considered friends at the time (and still do, don't worry) totally neglected to fill me in on something that was pretty major. Truth be told, I've never been so angry in my life. But that's also what I enjoyed about it.

Some may not realize it, as I usually keep it in check, but I have a horrible temper. When I have too much on my plate (like around Finals), I let it slip a bit. The reason that I found the event in February mildly enjoyable was because I could finally be angry. It was a little, much needed vacation from happy and calm. I began to notice that it wasn't just the lack of information that upset me, although I was able to rationalize those thoughts away pretty fast.

Now, I'm not saying I enjoyed being left in the dark, but I found that it's important to have someone or something to act as a vent, because the more it's built up, the worse it's gonna be. Pleasantness, at times, can be a vice.

The Band Bus

Resurection

A Letter To Sam Adams (not the beer)

I can't think straight when I'm angry, but I'll just say it: I hate republicans

Lyrics?? On my blog?!?

Look not for continuity, for there is none

I'm part of the Cod Corp!

Typically I don't draw, but for Freddie, I'll make an exception

Because I love talking about myself....

If I Might Say a Few Things

A Pleasant Obsession

Then and Now

Live!

In response...

Mopey McMopester

So, this one time on the internet...

I'm Baaaaack

Things To Do Before I Become Senile

Hippies, and other tales

Junior Life

Holy Shit

Ah, you internets... you please me yet again

Ah, you internets... you please me yet again

Beware of Dean

I'm Getting That Feeling Again...

Minesweeper the Movie

Ignorance is, in fact, bliss

Pool's Closed Bitches

Just Try and Get it Out of Your Head

4chan Destroys Souls

So... when's that Harry Potter 8 coming out?

EMU PIMPS RIOT!

A Proper Finish

Egads, got to write this fast...

Pics

What Matters Most

Day One and Two

I Hate This Time of the Year

We're Doing Trig in Algebra, So...

I'm Going To Hell...

B.A.N, yo

Gone Quiet

Drive!

Happy 420, dudes....

Angst, angst, angst....

New Blog Layout

Secrets

Yippee-doodle-daisy Bend Trip!

There are known knows, then there are known unknowns...

All the Cute That is Knut

z0m6 iz a 7it1e

Colleges....Yeah, eek

A Trip Down PostSecret Lane...Again

Jeremy Irons Playing the Oboe!! *swoon*

MY blog. MINE

A Few Things

Recent Doodles

Yugoslavia?

One of the wierder things on YouTube...

A Few Hints, But Nothing Too Obvious

Christine, I'm Sure You've Seen This, But....

Ah, Crap. Not Again...

Proof of My Stupidity

Out of Denial

My New Secret

Billow Capes of Pwnage

Eekers! Sorry, guys!

Free Bird by Lynyrd Skynyrd

I'm Not In a Good Mood Right Now...

Ain't no normal like the paranormal

The Beach

A Generation Failed

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Flight of the B-52

Wishlist (yes, another one)

I Might Just Wet Myself

I Hate Elections

Tango's Word(s) of the Week

Another Change

What the Fetch?

Jeremy Irons Playing the Oboe!! swoon